Sword Art Online the Musical Act 1: The Black Swordsman
by Firelord67
Summary: In a virtual world, where lives are at stake, one boy, Kirito, is determined to defeat all 100 bosses and finish the game. But, in order to do that, he must face his greatest enemy: freindship. Join him, as he deals with an annoying best friend, multiple derederes, and himself.
1. Good morning SAO!

**Now, you may or may not be tempted to immediately stop reading as soon as you saw the words "Sword Art Online." Personally, I really like the show, but it did sort of fall short in some areas, not just in the plot. So I've taken it upon myself to fix all the problems in the show by replacing the characters with more dynamic ones, re-designing the game, make the romance a lot more interesting, and generally improve on everywhere that the show fell short.**

**Also, this is yet another musical, but since I'm using real songs this time, it should be okay.**

_Sword Art Online. The long-awaited game has finally been released for the public. This is the first game to fully take advantage of the NerveGear system's power, to make the users feel as if they were living in the game. Once more, this is the first ever VRMMORPG to be sold out on the first day, as the fans have waited in cartoonishly long lines to get one of the 10,000 physical copies, and the game was downloaded 7 million times more. The 1000 beta testers claimed it was the best thing they ever did. And now, one of them, Kirito Kazuto, has just been given a brand-spanking-new copy from the game's creator himself. And, needless to say, Kirito eagerly started up the link and started singing the opening number. The NerveGear read his brainwaves and projected him into a small village, The Town of Beginnings. A tall tower stretched upwards into the sky, and the music started to drown out the narration..._

_Kirito: Oh, oh, oh, woke up today_

_Feeling the way from the Beta test_

_Oh, oh, oh, NerveGear is go, and the game is online_

_Then I hear that beat_

_The rhythm of town_

_Starts calling me down_

_Just gotta create my avatar_

_Oh, oh, oh, pulling me out_

_To the smiles and the streets that I know_

_Good morning SAO_

_Out of beta so my states won't load_

_Feels like I'm living a fantasy_

_Every sound is the OST_

_Good morning SAO_

_Every sense, the device takes hold._

_The sights, and the smells and the sounds _

_Are just 1s and Os_

_Oh, oh, oh, look at my hair_

_I guess there's no option to customize_

_Oh, oh, oh, I look like myself in reality_

_That's bad game design. _

_My sword is so cool _

_With this, I'm gonna rule_

_Although I go solo, I can still win._

_So, oh, oh, don't hold me back_

_OH MY GOSH, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING!?_

During Kirito's number, he had failed to notice that he had accidentally walked out of town, and onto some kind of field. What's more, it just happened to be inhabited with a black boar with large silver tusks. It snorted angrily and flared its nostrils.

Quickly, Kirito grabbed his sword and slashed the beast in a sideways arc. The pig didn't last a single hit, immediately shattering into a thousand blue diamond shapes which all faded away.

"Hey! Dude! Help!"

Kirito noticed that another player, a relatively tall man with a red outfit and bandanna, along with minor facial hair. A praying mantis, twice his size, had backed him into a nearby tree. His nametag read "Klein"

_Klein: Oh, no, no, please help me dude_

_I'm about to become praying mantis food_

_Oh, no, no, I'm a complete noob and I'm gonna die_

_Please help me, guy!_

_I don't know anything_

_About this crazy game_

_How do I kill this thing? Help me, man._

_Kirito: Just listen, pull out your sword_

_swing back and wait for the skill!_

_That's how you activate_

_Klein: Oh my gosh I just killed that thing!_

_Hey, let's be friends, form a party_

_Kirito: hold the phone, I go solo_

_I don't need any friends, oh no._

_There's only one thing I see_

_SAO and me_

Klein: Aw, bummer. Can you at least give me some tips? I've been waiting a long time to download this game.

Kirito: Well, I suppose the first floor of the dungeon isn't going anywhere.

_I know every skill, I know every sword_

_I know the monsters down to the word_

_I see all those floor bosses shining ahead_

_So I'd rather avoid having you drop dead!_

_So, oh, oh, come on let's move_

_You'll wanna keep an eye on your stamina_

_Oh, oh, oh, find a weak monster and level up_

_Here's how you block:_

_One, hold your sword_

_Two, wait for four_

_Three, swing it up when the monster attacks_

_Kirito: So, oh, oh, then they'll prone for a powerful counterattack!_

_*Instrumental_

_Well it's been good with you_

_But now I must bid you adieu_

_You know that parties sit with me_

_And guilds are only just sickening_

_Klein: Hold on there Kirito_

_You really insist on playing solo_

_I think you might be just a bit lonely_

_But I think that you should see_

_You need a friend, buddy._

Cause, I'm not a psychiatrist, but you're kinda… antisocial. Not that I'm glad you taught me over the last chorus, but do you really not wanna friend anyone?

Kirito: I'm sure you'd love to hear _my _backstory.

Klein: Uh, yeah kinda.

Kirito: I'm gonna go check out the dungeon.

Klein: Okay, see ya.

_Kirito: Good morning SAO_

_Living like this is the life for me_

_The world's feeling green with envy_

_Cause this is all that I need_

_SAO and me…_

_Klein: I'm not sure that I agree_

_Kirito: SAO and me…_

_Klein: Cause someday you're gonna see_

_Kirito: SAO and me!_

_Klein: You are quite lonely_

"What was that?" asked Kirito.

"Oh, uh, nothing, I was just thinking… Oh, look my pizza's here! I should probably log out so I can eat it." Klein pulled up the menu.

"Actually, I think it's about time I ate dinner myself."

"Hey, uh, how do I log out?"

"Just press the Logout button on the bottom of the menu."

"Are you sure? It looks a lot more like a Social button."

"Huh?" Kirito pulled out the menu and saw that Klein was right. The Logout button was nowhere to be seen.

"That's odd, how do get out now?"

Klein thought for a moment.

"I know, I'll just pull the NerveGear off my head!" he put his hands on his head and pulled upwards as hard as he could.

"It's no use," said Kirito. "The NerveGear cuts off signals to your body,"

"Great, now my pizza's gonna get cold."

"I called a GM, but he won't pick up."

"You called a GM in the span of seven seconds?"

"And they won't pick up. This is why I don't rely on others." Kirito said the latter sentence in a much darker tone.

"Okay dude, you really need to…"

POOF!

"What the…!?" The two of them found themselves in the middle of the town, right next to the bell tower.

"A forced teleport?" Kirito asked. He looked around, seeing thousands upon millions of other players, each of them shocked and confused. Suddenly the sky began to darken and turn a blood red.

"Everyone's here! But why?" asked Klein. A towering cloaked figure appeared, floating beside the tower.

"Greetings players." they boomed. "I am Kayaba Akihiko, creator of Sword Art Online."

A collective gasp came from the large crowd.

"So, how are you enjoying the game so far? I bet you didn't see the first boss' surprise!"

"I don't know how to log out! I'm supposed to get some ramen soon." a voice called out.

"Ah, yes that. It's my favorite part of the game, and let me tell you, it was an absolute nightmare to program…"

"So, how do I log out?"

"I'm getting to that. You see, the fact that the Logout button is missing is fully intentional."

"But I need to get ramen!"

"Logging out is against the rules. The reason behind this is…"

"$c43w the rules, I have money!" said another voice.

"I was thinking of adding microtransactions, but I _really _hate pay-to-win games. I'm not sending people into financial doom. As I was saying…"

"Does this game have ramen in it? If so, I'd invite Kaido to it."

"Okay, for Pete's sake, shut up about ramen! I'll make this quick, you can't log out, if you die, the NerveGear will kill you, if anyone tries to remove it, they get stuck here too…"

"Gah! How did I get here!" said yet another voice.

"Oh Kaido, there you are. Wanna get some ramen?" the first voice said.

"...as demonstrated by that weird guy who can't seem to shut up about ramen." Kayaba continued "And the only way to escape, is to kill the boss on all 100 floors and clear the game. Oh, and the bosses will respawn, so don't even think about making one guy do all the work."

"Darn it!" said another voice.

"I think that's it. Oh, and one more thing. I put a bunch of AIs in the game to manage, but some have gone rogue and I have no idea what they're doing now. If you see one, kill it on sight, I don't want them ruining my lovely game. Be sure to leave a review!" Kayaba snapped his fingers and vanished. The sky turned blue again. Silence.

"OH MY GOSH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

Mass chaos emerged. There was screaming and crying and running and players started fighting for some reason. It was complete and utter chaos. And not the fun kind of chaos.

All except for three people. Perhaps it was fate, perhaps Kayaba wanted to play a prank, or perhaps a certain…

**Yandere Dev, Yandere Dev!**

**Gah! Midori? What are you doing here?**

**I thought I was going to die at this point.**

**Oh, sorry Midori, you're in the wrong story. This is SAO The Musical, not Yandere Simulator The Musical. Two awesome and well thought out musical adaptations of popular anime-based game culture, which should definitely be favorited and followed and reviewed.**

**Oh sorry.  
**

Klein realized that he needed to get away from the crowds, and a begrudging Kirito followed. They narrowly dodged multiple Sword Skills and kept up the pace. Eventually, the two players ended up in a quiet alleyway.

"Phew, I think we'll be safe here. It's real anarchy out there," said Klein.

"You said it," said Kirito.

"I guess it's just you and me! Two adventurers on a quest to escape a crazy death game, while also developing as characters while we become best friends! Oh, would you look at that, I'm omnipotent now."

"Yeah, hard pass."

"Oh come on man, how much longer are you gonna keep up that stubborn protagonist attitude until, you finally realize, that you need help!"

"Sheesh, what is this, an anime?" the two boys jumped when they noticed that a girl in a red cloak was standing in the alleyway with them. "You got the generic antisocial protagonist who's also incredibly sarcastic, the upbeat best friend who's gonna go into a coma later, all you need now is a tsundere love interest." the girl chuckled.

"What do you want, Asuna?" asked Kirito.

"You know her?" asked Klein.

"What? No! You can see her nametag, look!" Kirito pointed to the aforementioned nametag above Asuna's head.

"Oh darn it. I forgot to crouch." Asuna said. "But anyway, I'm a rapier-user. I'm a pro-gamer, specifically in VR"

"And a resident otaku?" Kirito smirked. Asuna paused.

"W-what? No! I'm a put-together, self-respecting woman with a r-r-reasonable lifestyle! I'm n-not otaku! B-baka!"

"But you're a girl" Kirito giggled at his sexist comment.

At once, Asuna's whole serious and professional persona seemed to fall to pieces. She angrily threw of her hood and turned to face him.

"Y-you know what? F-forget I sad a-anything! I'll just k-kill you now!"

Asuna drew out her sword and took a battle stance.

**Asuna ch-challenged you to a duel!**

**Kirito accepted the duel!**

**Klein decided to step out before he was obliterated.**

**Asuna has a Rapier, so she g-gets to go first!**

**Asuna used right slash!**

**Kirito parried the attack!**

**Asuna is open!**

**Kirito used thrust!**

**The attack hit!**

**It's super effective! Cause she's a deredere.**

**Asuna used Baka!**

**Kirito was unnerved.**

**Asuna used up, left, right!**

**3x combo!**

**It's super effective! Cause she's a tsundere.**

**Kirito used Leg Sweep!**

**But it failed, and now he's prone!**

**Asuna used full body attack!**

**But it failed.**

**Asuna fell on top of Kirito!**

**Asuna used Hentai!**

**It's super effective! Cause he's a boy.**

**The author isn't quite sure how to continue this fight…**

**Asuna used left slash!**

**Kirito parried the attack!**

**Asuna is open!**

**Kirito used Sword Skill, Sonic Dash!**

**The attack hit!**

**It's super effective! Cause she's a deredere.**

**Asuna used Baka!**

**Kirito was unnerved.**

**Asuna used up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right!**

**8x combo!**

**Asuna was charged!**

**It's super effective! Cause she's a tsundere.**

**Kirito used Leg Sweep!**

**But it failed, and now he's prone!**

**Asuna used full body attack!**

**But it failed.**

**Asuna fell on top of Kirito!**

**Asuna used Charged Purple!**

**It's super effective! Cause he's a boy.**

**Kirito used I am Not Left Handed!**

**Kirito's attack raised sharply!**

**Kirito used rapid stab!**

**Asuna fainted!**

"Gah!" said Asuna. She dusted herself off. "Kirito!"

"Nobody likes a sore loser." he chuckled.

"I swear, on my life, that from this point forward, I am your sworn nemesis! I will not rest, I will not cease, I will never focus on anything else until you are dead!"

"Right… yeah, I hate relationships. Seeya"

"H-hey! You can't just leave! You're supposed to declare me _your _nemesis! One-sided hate ships are just villainy! I-i'm supposed to be the heroine! I tell you, the heroine!"

"She's a tsundere," said Klein.

"Well, I'll see you two." Kirito started walking off.

"Aww! But we're supposed to be the protagonists that are forced to get along somehow! Oh wait, all I have to do, is wait for the inevitable plot device that will force us to be friends! Any moment now. Any minute now. Any minute now "

"Oh for goodness sake, shut up!" exclaimed Asuna.

"You know, you didn't exactly object to being the tsundere character," said Klein. Asuna's eyes widened in realization. She gritted her teeth in anger.

**Asuna used One-Punch-Man-Punch on Kirito!**

**Please review!**

**Do what he says!**

**Master?**

**Oh, what is it?**

**I believe that there is an error. I can't seem to go to the players.**

**Oh no, I cut off your access to the game. You won't have any use now.**


	2. The Raid

Kirito sighed as he walked down the road. It had been three weeks since the game's release, and about four thousand players had joined the game. _Great. More annoying people._

In order to defeat the first boss, some guy named Diavel had sent out a group message. He wanted to call a meeting in the Town of Beginnings. And since it was well-known knowledge that Kirito was a beta-tester, it would be unwise to not attend. _If I don't go, I might be blamed for a few deaths, so now I'm trapped in a death game, an annoying guy wants to be my best friend, and there's an assassin who I'm also trying to assassinate, simply so Asuna will SHUT HER DARN MOUTH UP! What is wrong with that girl? It's like she intentionally wants to hate me! I mean, what kind of person hates social interaction that much? Well, I do but…_

"Hey pal!" said Klein.

_Oh great._

"Please leave me alone."

_Kirito seems a little annoyed today, more so than usual. I could leave him alone as asked, but I really wanna see how this is gonna turn out._

_One extremely annoying walk to the Town of Beginnings later..._

"Greetings everyone!" a man with blue hair said. He stood upon a large stone pedestal, while everyone else sat in various seats, in what resembled a Roman amphitheater. "Thank you for coming to this meeting I called! My name is Diavel. I'd like to start this with a quick recap of what's going on. First and foremost, a lot of you are probably upset at the fact that we still haven't beaten the first floor…"

"We haven't beaten the first floor!?" exclaimed some random guy from the audience.

"And I still haven't found Senpai!" exclaimed some random schoolgirl with black hair.

"Drat! It's already been three whole weeks!"

"How many more floors after this one?"

"I think 99."

"WE STILL HAVE 99 FLOORS TO GO AND WE HAVEN'T BEATEN THE FIRST ONE?! WE'RE TOTALLY SCREWED!"

Diavel continued.

"Also, a large number of people have died…"

"How many?" said a manly voice from the crowd.

"How many? Well…"

"Tell me!"

"Well, It's just that…"

"Tell me!"

"I really don't think…"

"Tell me!"

"Yeah, you should probably just tell the guy, he can get real insistent." said a teen with a Brooklyn accent. A man with orange hair and a brown belt called out.

"IT'S OVER 9000! Also, my name is Kibaou. Remember that"

"What? Nine thousand people have died?!"

"And we haven't even cleared the first of one hundred floors?!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, please calm yourselves," Diavel said over the clamoring.

Silence.

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

Kirito groaned and buried his face in his hands. _These people are worthless. They wouldn't know combat if it came up and stabbed them through the heart. And let alone…_

"QUIET!" the noise stopped. A tall dark-skinned muscular man was standing up. "We are not hopeless. Surely, you all have this in your inventory" he pulled out a small brown book. "This is a guidebook that explains how to defeat the boss in detail. As for how anyone died while in possession of this, I have no idea…"

"Actually Agil, I didn't read it." said a voice.

"What? You know this is a matter of life and death?"

"It's like, 80 pages."

Agil sighed and went back to his seat.

"Well, now that that's been dealt with." Diavel resumed his meeting. "I have a foolproof plan on how to defeat the boss." He pulled out the book and flipped through it.

"The boss has four health bars and attacks with an ax and a shield, and summons minions. Once he's on his last bar, he'll switch to a talwar. For those of you who don't know, a talwar is a type of curved sword or saber from the Indian subcontinent."

"Hah! You totally just found that out," said Kibaou.

"I DID NOT!" exclaimed Diavel. "Here's my plan, first, every one group up into parties of six."

Klein thought to himself. _This is perfect! Since people tend to turn into assassins on the internet, Kirito will be forced to party up in order to maintain a reasonable reputation. Now's my chance to bond with him._

Kiritoo was also having thoughts. _Oh__ no, now I have to party up in order to maintain a reasonable reputation. Which means I have to work with these imbeciles/mouth-breathers/jerks. What could be worse?_

"Hey pal!" said Klein. "Wanna party up?"

"Fine," Kirito said, avoiding eye contact. "But for the record, we are NOT friends." _In all honesty, no one would want to party up with someone like me..._

"Hey boys." Kirito turned and jumped in surprise when he saw Asuna talking to him. He quickly drew his sword.

**Kirito used flying slash!**

**Asuna sidestepped.**

**Kirito flopped into the ground!**

"...And, it seems you're still an idiot" Asuna smirked. Kirito got up. "Can I be in your party?" Asuna asked, innocently.

"Why would we do that?" said Klein and Kirito simultaneously. "You've been trying to kill Kirito since this game started!"

"Boys, you would really suspect that of me?" Asuna said in mock-hurt.

**Asuna used: Naruto hand signs: There's no way I'm **_**going to "double cross" you, as being in a party would**_ **give me the "perfect opportunity to kill" you. Wink!**

"Oh." Kirito thought for a moment. "Welp, that's good enough for me, you're in!"

"What!" Klein exclaimed. "Exactly what did she say to you?"

"Nothing. Besides, the more cannon fodder the better!" Kirito said as he sent Asuna a party invite.

Asuna scoffed. _Seriously, I can't wait to kill him. If only to SHUT HIS DARN MOUTH UP! What is wrong with that boy? It's like she intentionally wants to hate me! I mean, what kind of person hates social interaction that much? Well, I do but…_

"Cannon fodder? Dude, It's been like three…" Klein started to say.

"Alright!" said Diavel. "Is everyone ready?"

A murmur of agreement came from the audience.

"Excellent! Are there any issues you want to bring up? No? Good! Let's go show that boss what we're made of!"

_Kingdom of Kobold Dungeon. 6:00 PM_

"Why are there so many STAIRS!?" Kirito said as the group was climbing up the staircase to the boss room

"You already said that. 33 times in total," replied Asuna

"Well _excuse me_, missy."

"Uh! I really want to kill you. Even more than usual."

"You know what I wanna do?"

"Find the guy who invented stairs…"

"...and then push him off these stairs…"

"...so then his legs will be broken…"

"...and won't be able to climb stairs anymore…"

"...it'll be ironic…"

"...then his wife will leave him…"

"...And hook up with the guy who invented the escalator…"

"..Cause escalators are much better than…"

"WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STAIRS!" exclaimed Asuna and Kirito at the same time. They both looked at each other when they realized what just happened.

"Woah," said Kirito. "Do we…"

"...hate each other so much that we can apparently read each other's minds?"

"I wasn't quite thinking of it like…"

Hyhy

"Oh! I know your Google search history! Say, it would be..."

"...unfortunate if everyone here knew what your favorite anime is?"

Asuna quickly shut herself up.

During this incident, there were numerous complaints from the parties out of sheer exhaustion

"HOW MANY MORE STAIRS?!" was the basic template for most of the comments.

"Guys, cheer up," said Diavel

"CHEER UP?!"

_An annoyingly long time later..._

"And here we are folks!" The boss room!" Said Diavel.

Above them, towered a massive door with terrifying designs and images carved upon it.

"So… who wants to go on the front lines?


	3. Illfang the Kobold Lord!

"Hey… about that song." Asuna said.

"Remember, it didn't happen…" Kirito said, avoiding eye contact.

"Hey, is that any way to treat you mortal ene-"

"I said, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!"

**Kirito used tsundere glare!**

"Got it. Message received." Asuna said quickly. Kirito thought for a moment

"Although, you do have a pretty good singing…"

**Asuna used tsundere glare!**

"Got it. Message received."

"Are you two done yet? We're at the boss." Diavel said. The group was standing in a large blue room, with stained glass windows.

"Hmm, this looks like a boss room," said Agil. "But where's the…"

"Boss?" everyone turned to see that a gigantic Kobold was rushing straight for them.

"Dodge!" yelled Diavel. Everyone jumped out of the way. The Kobold chuckled.

"I meant for that to happen! A great boss such as me must have a perfectly executed entrance!"

"Great boss?" Kirito said sarcastically.

"You're the first one. You probably suck." Asuna pointed out.

"Hey! Do you know who I am? Because if you do… I will tell you anyway!" The Kobold announced. He cleared his throat.

"Oh no, another song," said Asuna.

"Didn't you just…" Asuna glared at Kirito.

"Point taken.

_Illfang: I am, Ilfang the Kobold Lord!_

_I'm the first boss, do I need to say more?_

_All of my minions,_

_End this game when you've begun_

_I want to have some _

_blood or it's not fun!_

"Go!" Illfang boomed. "Ruin Kobold Sentinels! Lay waste to them, but keep some around! Otherwise, no one will be able to watch the finale."

"You don't scare us, lizard lips! Squad A, flank! Squad all the other letters, group up and hit him until he dies! Tsunderes and that other guy, take out the minions!"

"I am not a tsundere!" said Asuna and Kirito simultaneously.

"Let's do this!" said Klein, enthusiastically. He pulled out his sword and started running towards one of the RKSs. "Tsujikaze, Fire!" He slashed the red lizard down its spine

"Did you seriously announce your attack right when you used it?" Asuna smirked.

"Yes, and it sounds awesome!"

"You know what, I don't give a…" Kirito started to say but was interrupted when one of the kobolds swung at him. Surprisingly, Asuna was the one who knocked the lizard away.

"If you think you can kill Kirito, then you've got another thing coming..." she yelled at the creature, before finishing it off.

"Asuna?"

"...cause then _I _can't kill him!"

"You know what, I was thinking-DUCK!"

The pair dodged another kobold who had just lunged at them.

"Less talking, more fighting!" Asuna slashed it from behind. Kirito shrugged and starting attacking every minion in sight. His sword slashed through their red flesh, as he swung in wide arcs, mercilessly slaughtering the beasts. Meanwhile, Asuna's rapier glowed green while she stabbed kobold after kobold after kobold. And Klein was yelling random attacks.

"Fire blast! Volcanic slash! Solar leap!"

Asuna occasionally glanced at Kirito while he was fighting. _Wow! I knew he was beta-tester, but he's elite, even by that standard! I can barely see the tip of his p… sword! The tip of his sword!_

Kirito was also examining Asuna's movements. _Wow! I suspected she was a beta-tester, but she's elite even by that standard! She's so fast I can barely see her rapier!_

While this was happening, Illfang's health was getting lower and lower.

"Take that! Seismic smash! You have my ax… in the face!" he said.

"Sheesh, talk about bad one-liners," said Kabou.

"Hey! I'll have you know that my one-liners are always as good as my singing!"

"That doesn't exactly set the bar pretty high." said someone named Schmitt.

"That's it! Second verse!"

"Oh, please no!"

_Ilfang: Do you really think, you'll survive in here?_

_You don't seem to know quite who I am_

_Lord of all the kobolds and_

_a really good singer_

_And ladies, know that I'm a single man!_

_(Wink!)_

"Let's take this up a notch!" Illfang yelled. He swung his ax in a circle, knocking down a very unfortunate player. Just then, Asuna realized something.

"The minions are gone!" she was correct. All of the RKSs were killed, and no new ones seemed to spawn.

"What?" Illfang looked around in confusion. "Ruin Kobold Sentinels! Get over here!" But nobody came.

"Darn it! Stupid Kayaba didn't program the minion respawner! I am definitely giving this game a bad review." Illfang pouted.

"Aren't you just a bunch of code with pre-programmed lines and attack patterns?" asked Diavel.

"Nonsense, I am an actor, who is _acting _out the role of a Kobold in a VRMMORPG, (sheesh that's a mouthful) But thanks to the games stupid creator, I'm out of RKSs. Oh well, I guess I'll just skip straight to the final stage." Illfang snapped his fingers, and his health immediately went down to the last bar.

"Okay… I guess that works."

"Oh, it will! Time for the grand climax!"

_Illfang: Now I'm really getting rather mad_

_looks like you've taken me down to my last bar, see?_

_My final bow will be very fab_

_If I use my super samurai Odachi!_

_Kirito: Not a talwar?_

_Illfang: Odachi!_

_Diavel: I don't care!_

_Illfang: Then get sliced!_

_Someone: OH MY GOSH, THIS CAN'T BE REAL, DIAVEL'S DEAD!_

"No he's not!" said Kirito. Diavel lay on the ground a deep red gash across his back. Despite the obvious, he was still very much alive.

"We should probably help the guy," said Agil. Meanwhile, Illfang had somehow developed the ability to jump really high.

"Hey, Illfang!" yelled Kirito and Asuna.

"Yes? What is… oh, darn it. I fell for it again." Illfang said as the two players started rushing for him.

"Hey! He's mine!" yelled Kirito, slashing through his torso.

"No! He's mine!" Asuna replied, stabbing his neck.

"Okay, that's it! Back to assassinating!" Kirito said. The two of them ran straight for Illfang and also each other. They jumped and took a slash at each other, each avoiding the others attack. Illfang, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. An X shaped wound was shining through his body, Asuna and Kirito had dealt the finishing blow by accident. Illfang's head rolled back, and he fell to the ground. Above the battlefield the words "CONGRATULATIONS!" appeared, followed by a familiar voice.

"Wonderful! Wonderful! Great job everybody!" Kayaba said, floating above Illfang's dead body.

"Kayaba?" everyone wondered out loud.

"Yes, it's me. Looks like you're having fun! If you like this game, please give a good review online! Also, you two, stop trying to kill each other" he said to Asuna and Kirito, who were both just about to finish their opponents. "That's not what this game's intricate combat system is for, the one that was fine-tuned for years. By me."

"RELEASE US FROM THIS GAME AT ONCE!" everyone yelled.

"Ah, ah, ah, no cheating! But I suppose thanks are in order. Firstly, Kirito," The cloaked figure floated over to him. "You are the most broken person I have ever met."

"Gee, thanks."

"And for that, you win the Coat of Solitude!" Kayaba snapped his fingers. A black coat with silver linings appeared. Kirito immediately grabbed the item and put it on.

"Woah," said Klein. "You look awesome."

"Uh, thanks? Whatever."

"And for you, Klein. You are the nicest person in this game," said Kayaba.

"Ah, you're too kind." said a flattered Klein.

"And for that, you win the Ruby of Friendship!" Kayaba snapped his fingers again, summoning a red gem. "Put this on your sword, and it'll do stuff."

Klein touched the Ruby to his katana. The metal seemed to soften at its touch molding around the gem, like clay. Once the Ruby was fully integrated, the sword started to glow. Then, all of a sudden, the light turned into a raging fire!.

"Holy cow!" said Klein, swinging the flames around. "This thing is awesome!"

"Finally, Asuna," said Kayaba. Once again, he summoned an item with the snap of his fingers. It was a small blue bottle. "I only intended to give out two rewards, but since you and Kirito were tied for both "Most Broken Player" and "Best Tsundere"...

"I-I am not a ts-tsundere!" said Kirito and Asuna.

"I decided to give you this." Kayab handed Asuna the bottle.

"What is it? Some kind of potion?"

"It's hair dye."

"Magic hair dye?"

"Yes. Well, it's _going _to be magic later. I haven't programmed the magic system for potions yet."

"Uh, thanks?"

"Well, I must be off now. Bye!" Kayaba snapped his fingers and vanished.

Silence.

"OH MY GOSH, WE ACTUALLY BEAT THE BOSS!"

Every cheered and laughed, relishing in their victory. Compliments were given, loot was divided, players were healed, and all was merry. Agil turned to Kirito.

"You know, you _were _the one who really helped," he said.

"Excuse me?" Asuna said. "I did just as much as he did! In fact, I think me and him are to only two people with any brains at all!" Everyone gasped and stared at Asuna.

"Oh, don't look so surprised." said Kirito, turning to the other players. "She's right about one thing, you guys wouldn't understand combat if it stabbed you in the heart!"

Murmurs arose.

"But then, I guess I shouldn't say that. You guys were pretty good at, you know, taking hits for me. I don't think I'll find better meat shields." Kirito chuckled darkly.

More murmuring.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you losers. You wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for me. I could have done this whole boss fight singlehandedly" Kirito started walking off, ignoring the jeers from the other players. "Oh, and Asuna? I slipped a poison potion into your healing bag."

"I suspected as much." Asuna grinned. "I switched my healing bag with yours." Asuna turned to everyone else. "In this world, you're either a winner or a corpse. And I sure as heck don't wanna be one of those things. Why don't you go ahead and choose now? It'll be oh-so-much more satisfying when I kick you into the dirt" She started following Kirito, slowly at first, slowly gaining speed.

**Asuna used flying slash!**

**Kirito sidestepped.**

**Asuna smacked into the ground.**

"Look who's the idiot now," Kirito said. He chuckled darkly. "I couldn't have asked for a better assassin." He pulled out a crystal and said, "Teleport! Safe zone!"

POOF!

"Oh no you don't!" Asuna pulled out her own crystal. "Teleport! Kirito!"

POOF

Silence.

"OH MY GOSH! THESE PEOPLE ARE JERKS!"

Klein scratched his head, and then looked at his new flaming sword.

"I'm gonna fix that man if it's the last thing I do."


	4. The Black Swordsman

_Months after the launch of the game, Sword Art Online started to feel… a bit more like home. So far, 30 floors have been found. Some people seemed to be quite content living in Aincrad, settling down, buying homes, even getting married. But then… you have the guilds and assault teams. The guilds are groups of players, dedicated to growing stronger and joining the assault teams. The assault teams are armies of players who focus solely on clearing the game as a group. For some reason, some people are still trying to remove the NerveGear and getting stuck in SAO as a result. As for Kirito… he's still a one-man assault team. _

"I'm a one-man assault team." said Kirito "Why would I join _you_ and impede on my progress?"

"Come on man, the most powerful player in the game, in the best guild in the game, the only thing between us and freedom is a turkey sandwich!" said the maroon-haired guy with armor named Keita.

A yellow haired guy named Ducker said

"01010111 01100101 00100000 01101101 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101101 01101001 01101100 01111001"

"What?" Kirito asked.

Keita twiddled his fingers.

"You know those rogue AIs that Kayaba told us to kill on sight?"

"Yeah?"

"Apparently they're super easy to brainwash."

"Wait… Do you mean that this entire guild is mostly AIs?"

"01010111 01100101 00100000 01101101 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101101 01101001 01101100 01111001" said Ducker.

"Well… Sachi and I are humans!" Keita said.

"Who's Sachi?"'

"Hey Sachi! Get over here!" Keita yelled in the direction of another table.

"Coming!" said the black haired girl with turquoise eyes, who was in the middle of a game of solitaire.

"01010111 01100101 00100000 01101101 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110011 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101101 01101001 01101100 01111001" Ducker spouted some more binary. But Kirito wasn't listening, he was still staring blankly at Sachi.

"Uh, Kirito?" Keita said.

"Huh? Oh! What? Hi!" Kirito stuttered and held out a hand to Sachi. "I'm Kirito!"

"I'm Sachi. Although, my brother probably told you that," said Sachi, taking Kirito's handshake. "Nice to meet you."

"Okay, enough of that." Said Keita, quite eager to change the subject. "Kirito, what's it gonna take for you to join the Moonlit Black Cats? Money? Items? The satisfaction of being with others?"

Kirito thought for a moment. _Why the heck am I even considering this? _He glanced at Sachi. _Hmmm, she is kinda pretty… hey! I don't do pretty! And I don't do guilds! I don't do friends! I just don't do people in…_

SMACK!

"Ouch…" Kirito muttered, rubbing his head. "What the heck just happened?"

"01001011 01100101 01101001 01110100 01100001 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01100011 01101011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101101 01100001 01100100 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01101100 01100101 01100101 01110000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01100010 01101111 01100100 01111001 00100000 01101010 01101111 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100111 01110101 01101001 01101100 01100100" said Ducker.

"WHAT?" Kirito exclaimed. "Keita!" he turned to the person in question. "You knocked me out and forced me to join the guild?!"

"Aw drat, I need to do something about that obedience programming. But anyway, welcome to the Moonlit Black Cats!" Keita smirked.

Kirito opened his menu and groaned when he saw the words "Moonlit Black Cats" under "Guild."

"It'll be… nice to hang out with you." Sachi said shyly.

Kirito put his hand to his chin _Maybe this won't be so bad… with Sachi… Hey! Enough about Sachi! You'll put up with her._

_And so, Kirito begrudgingly joined the Moonlit Black Cats. While he was usually cold and distant towards the group, he would always warm up when Sachi was involved. Despite his obvious distaste of guilds, the members grew ever closer to them. Well, the human ones did. The AIs were more or less empty shells, blindly following orders. And Keita was more or less solely intent on keeping Kirito in the guild. So, he only really grew closer to Sachi. As much as he hated to admit it, she was actually pretty nice._

One night, while walking back from some late-night hunting, Kirito got a message from Keita.

"Hey, Kirito! I have no idea what you're doing at this hour, but I thought you'd like to know that my sister has gone missing, and I have no idea how to find her. Bye! Ps. can you bring back some more sauce?"

"Sachi is missing?!" Kirito said out loud. He took on a face of determination.

**Activate Skill: Friend Tracker**

Sachi sat by herself under the stone bridge, listening to the run of the water. She suddenly heard someone.

"Sachi!" Kirito exclaimed. "What are you doing here? I was worried sick!" he ran up to her. "It's not like I like you or anything! Baka!" _What the heck did I just say?_ Sachi giggled.

"Oh, you. And you see… I've been thinking..."

"Huh?"

"I want to run away… from here… from this town… from this floor… from SAO"

Kirito listened to her while watching the moon sparkle on her eyes.

"Maybe from life…" Sachi looked up thoughtfully.

"Life?!" he gasped.

Sachi let out a small chuckle.

"I'm joking of course. If anything…"

Kirito noticed a small tear in her eye.

"Sachi?"

"I'm scared of dying… Kirito," she said. "I'm scared that I'll get everyone else killed… I'm scared that… that…"

"What the heck are you doing?"

"Huh?"

"What skill is that?"

"Skill?"

"How else are you making me actually care about your… problems?" Kirito was unable to add the word "Dumb" to his sentence, as he intended

"Cause… we're friends?

"Friends?... Oh my gosh! Is this companionship? Why do I suddenly feel companionship!" Kirito panicked.

"You… haven't felt companionship before?"

"Heck no… what is wrong with me?"

"Haven't you had any friends before?"

"I never really could think of a reason to have them."

"What about your parents?"

"I never knew them. I grew up living with my psychotic sister."

"Didn't you love her?"

"Lemme flashback a moment…"

**Flashback:**

**Leafa: Squeeze it harder!**

**Flashback over! For good reasons.**

"Oh my. That explains a lot" Sachi cringed at that image

"It's not just that. People are always annoying to be around! Klein can't shut up about friendship, Asuna is trying to kill me, Agil's a nerd, Diavel's a control freak, and Keita is…"

"A con-man?"

"Yeah… that's exactly what I was thinking. You know, I was gonna say something bad about you, but I l…" Kirito stuttered. "Ll-li-ee... I can't say it."

"Thanks for being here Kirito."

"Huh?"

"While I'm still terrified of our current predicament… I feel like I know the real you."

"Thanks? I guess? But you make a valid point. I think it's about time I stopped resenting people by default."

"That wasn't… you know what, I don't care" Sachi looked thoughtfully at the water, remembering the days before this death game started.

_Sachi: __Days in the sun_

_When my life had barely begun_

_Kirito: Not until this whole game is done_

_Will, I ever leave you_

_Will I tremble again?_

_From my sister, who's always insane?_

_Sachi: Will the real world forever remain_

_Out of reach of my arms?_

_All those days in the sun._

_What I'd give to relive just one_

_I would love, to be with you_

_In real life, I'd like to see you_

_Both: All those days in the sun_

_What I'd give to relive just one_

_Undo what's done_

_And bring back the light_

Sachi and Kirito were interrupted when another message from Keita appeared.

"Hey, guys! Kirito, did you find Sachi? Sachi where the heck is you, get back over here!"

"I guess that's our cue," said Kirito. Sachi smiled at him. The two stared into each other's eyes for a while.

"Ps. GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT OR I'M HIRING AN ASSASIN TO KNOCK YOU OUT AND BRING YOU HERE!"

"That's not what an assassin is for." Kirito frowned. "And for the record, only Asuna is allowed to do that."

"Pss. DON'T YOU QUESTION ME, SIR!"

"Alright everyone, let's get down to buisnuiss," said Keita. "Now, here's the deal: I may or may not have sold everything to a shady guy in an alleyway."

"Say what?" Kirito exclaimed.

"He offered more than nine thousand col for all of the guilds items."

"You know our items combined are worth nine _hundred _col?"

"Well, who understand finances these days?" Keita chuckled nervously. "But yeah, we're broke now."

"01001110 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 00100001" said Ducker.

"So, in order to make our money back, we're going to floor 27 in order to grind!"

"That's not how grinding works," said Kirito

"So here's the plan: Kirito and Sachi, frontlines."

"You know you should put the tank first, right?"

"Everyone else, behind them."

"Okay, I get the feeling that you're not actually doing this right-"

SMACK!

"Uh… what happened?" said Kirito, realizing that they were all inside a dungeon.

"01001110 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 00100001" said Ducker.

"Keita knocked us out and ditched us here? Aw, come on!"

"Hey look!" said Sachi. "A treasure chest!" she pointed to an open room with blue walls, containing a single chest in the middle.

"Oh, that's a trap for noobs. If we go inside we'll be attacked by the worst type on monster there is." said Kirito.  
"Yikes! I was almost about to…"

One of the AIs ran up to the treasure chest and opened it.

"Oh, darn it!"

The room started to flash red, the door closed behind the guild.

POOF!

"Granite Elementals!" yelled Kirito. Surrounding them, were hundreds of tall humanoid creatures made of grey rocks. Kirito wasted no time in pulling out his sword and slashing the nearest monster to pieces. But more were spawned, over and over. The Moonlit Black Cats fought with all their might, but they could not defeat the monsters as fast as they were spawning. One by one, AI's were struck down. To be fair, most of them didn't actually matter, since pretty much no one can remember their names. One of the Elementals took a surprise swing at Sachi, hitting her square in the face with the force of a cannonball.

"SACHI!" yelled Kirito. But he was too late. Sachi fell to the floor and exploded into a cloud of polygons. Kirito felt something that he hadn't felt in forever.

Tears.


	5. A girl and her dragon

**_And we're back!_**

**Arumage: The anime, or the fanfic?**

**_It's been three months since Kirito lost the love of his life, twenty more floors have been discovered. Ever since then, he's been even more distant than usual, not even bothering to react to Asuna. The one person he ever valued got smashed to digital pieces, and now he's once again alone, just the way he likes it. But ignore that for now, cause it's time for a tiny dragon to die!_**

"Pina!" exclaimed Silica. The tiny blue dragon jumped in front of the drunken ape's club, being smacked into the ground with the force of a sledgehammer. Silica watched as Pina's health bar turned yellow, then red, then nothing. She tried to grab her, but it was too late. Pina shattered into a cloud of polygons, leaving the girl on her own.

The ape turned around and lifted its weapon again. Silica cried out and braced herself for the impact.

**Kirito parried the attack!**

"Huh?" Silica saw a tall boy with black hair attacking the ape.

Kirito plunged his sword through the monster's stomach. It cried out, before dying in a burst of light.

Kirito turned around and sheathed his sword. He looked at Silica.

"What the heck are you doing here?!" he exclaimed. "This is floor 35 for goodness sake! And all you bring is a dagger and no teammates at level 11? That's 24 levels below! You're basically asking to die like that dragon!"

Silica looked at the small feather, all that remained of her pet.

"Pina…" she whimpered. She started crying, much to Kirito's dismay.

"Are you just gonna sit there crying, or do you actually want to, I don't know, not die?!"

"She was innocent... "

Kirito groaned.

"Seriously, I don't have time for this."

"She died as she lived… protecting me."

"Are you serious?"

"It's my fault…"

The words, "My fault" seemed to arouse something in Kirito.

"Oh for crying out loud! What the heck are you upset about?!"

It was at this point that Silica lost it.

"My best friend just died in front of me! How do you expect me to react!?"

"Wait, your best friend is a digital familiar?"

"_Was_… my familiar."

"No, _is_ your familiar. You know you can just revive her on floor 47?"

Silica's eyes widened.

"What?!"

"Oh great, a noob." Kirito sighed. "If you take that feather, that the lizard-bird thing dropped, to the Hill of Memories, you can find a special flower that can revive it."

"Why wouldn't you say that earlier and spare me the heartache!"

"Cause I don't care. Now, are you gonna get to floor 41, or are you just gonna sit there looking at a feather?"

Silica's face lit up. She grabbed the feather and put it into her inventory. Then she turned to Kirito.

"You're not coming with me?" she asked.

"No. I thought I made it clear that I don't give a feather about your pet." Kirito started walking off.

"Wait!" Silica shouted. "If you're so cold, why did you save me and tell me how to revive Pina?"

Kirito stopped. He covered his face with his hand.

"I don't want another Sachi in my life." he walked off into the darkness.

_About two minutes later..._

Silica made her way through the forest, hoping to find a teleport zone. She had run out of crystals, so she had to go on foot. Suddenly, a different voice called out than Kirito's.

"Hey there!"

Silica turned around and saw another player walking towards her.

"What are you doing out here alone?" asked Klein.

"I wasn't alone…" Silica sighed. "Pina, my Tiny Feathered Dragon, died,"

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Klein, sympathetically.

Silica perked up.

"Thank you! Anyway, now I'm going to the Hill of Memories to revive her!"

"All by yourself?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Klein gasped.

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!" he opened the menu and sent Silica a party invite.

"You're joining me?"

"Heck yeah, I am! Also, I really wanted to say that"

"Really? Thanks!" Silica smiled, then stopped for a moment. "Wait, what's in it for you?"

"Duh, there's always a benefit to having plenty of friends! I'm Klein by the way"

Just then, someone else found them.

"Klein?" asked Kirito. Then he noticed Silica. "Oh, it's you again."

"You've met before?" said Klein.

"He saved my life from a drunken ape and told me about the Hill of Memories earlier," she said.

Kirito groaned.

"Don't make me look like the good guy, you'll give Klein the wrong idea."

"You don't want another Sachi in your life?" Klein questioned.

"Okay, that's the right idea."

"Who is Sachi anyway?" asked Silica.

"Kirito's dead girlfriend, also the one and the only person he ever opened up to, who died from a noob trap, and now he blames himself because he thinks he wasn't strong enough to save her,"

"She wasn't my girlfriend, baka!" exclaimed Kirito. Then he looked sad. "Why do you care? In fact, how do you even know?"

"I read the previous chapter. Anyway, you and I are gonna help Silica revive Pina!"

"Really?" said Silica.

"What? Why?" said Kirito.

"Cause, we really need a redeeming moment to justify your relationship with Asuna," Klein announced proudly."

"Huh?"

"I said, Silica's level 11, and I'm level 35, that equals 46, which is less than 47. You know it's a bad idea to go to a floor that's higher than your party's combined level. I don't know what your level is, but it should be enough for us to easily get through floor 47"

"Kinda weird how our levels are so convenient that it's forcing us to work together." Silica pointed out.

Klein sent Kirito a party invite.

"Are you serious? There's no way you're going to convince me to join your party!"

"I thought you didn't want another Sachi in your life?"

_The next day…_

"I can't believe you convinced me to join your party!" exclaimed Kirito.

Klein chuckled, as the three of them walked through the expansive flower garden of floor 47.

"Thank gosh for PTSD!" Klein exclaimed. "Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to rub salt in the wound."

"No need. The fact that I have to relive that moment every time I close my eyes already does it enough." Kirito said, grimly.

"It's so pretty!" said Silica, admiring the many flowers around them. "I've never seen so many flowers!"

"Well, be careful. This place is crawling with monsters."

"Are you sure? Cause I don't see any."

Suddenly, a huge vine sprouted from the ground.

"Then what do you think that is?" said Kirito, blankly staring at the vine.

The vine whipped around and grabbed Silica by the leg.

"Yikes!" exclaimed Silica, as she was pulled off the ground. She dangled upside-down from the large plant. "Help me! But don't look…" she said, as she pulled her skirt to cover herself.

"Don't worry!" said Klein. "You just have to believe in yourself!"

"No you don't!" said Kirito. "Just stab it with a knife!"

"Oh yeah, that," said Silica, pulling out her dagger.

**Silica used Stab!**

**It's super effective! Because plants are weak to knives**

**CreepVine fainted!**

SIlica felled the plant and landed smack on her face.

"It's like I always say," said Kirito. "The power of love is trash, the power of swords and violence is where the money is." he grinned

Silica shook herself off.

"Thanks, Kirito…"

Klein used a healing crystal on her.

"Let's try to be a bit more careful this time."

After that incident, the three of them continued on their journey. Silica was still looking at the flowers, occasionally stopping to smell one, Klein gleefully marched on, and Kirito was more or less sulking.

"Say, Silica?" asked Klein.

"Yeah?"

"Why were you on floor 35, if your level is 11?"

Silica looked at Pina's feather.

"Pina was level 24."

"Oh." Klein turned to Kirito. "What about you?"

Kirito groaned.

"Asuna's level 34, she wouldn't be able to get to me there."

"Who's Asuna?" asked Silica.

"She's a girl I met on the first day. And she sorta swore to kill me."

"What?! That's crazy!"

"Asuna _is_ crazy. She's constantly slipping poison into my food, performing surprise attacks on me, setting up traps, and stalking me." Kirito grimaced. "Why the heck am I even telling you this?"

"I don't know," said Klein. "Maybe you're actually bonding with us."

Kirito glared at him.

"I thought I made it clear. I. Hate. People."

"What about Sachi?"

Kirito blushed.

"She was… tolerable."

"A-hah! You do have a soft side!"

"This may turn into the longest day of my life."

"Well, I have the perfect cure for that!"

Silica coughed.

"Actually I'd rather not…"

_Klein: Sing a song_

_Yes a travel song_

_When you gotta go somewhere_

_'Cause the fun is getting there_

_Yeah!_

_Sing a song_

_Hit the trail_

_Forget the maps. Forget the guides._

_Before ya know it, you've made strides with me._

_And I know all I need - all along_

_Is a path and a pal - and a song,_

_So I'm singin'_

_And I'm pallin' with you_

_Klein: See? It's great to have friends!_

_Kirito: __Why me?_

_Why me?_

_Klein: This is nice._

_Kirito: Tell me what was my crime?_

_Klein: We are strolling_

_Kirito: Give me Asuna over him_

_I would take that anytime_

_Klein: Look out, another giant plant!_

_Better kill it!_

_Kirito: Why me?_

_Why me?_

_Silica: Kirito, everything is fine._

_Klein: That's right!_

_Kirito: I think I'm ready to just die_

_Seriously, how many other idiots are in this world?_

_Silica: I can't wait to_

_Bring back, Pina!_

_Kirito: Seriously?_

_This world of duds is a big bust,_

_WHY ME?_

_What the heck did I do to deserve this?_

_Why me?_

_Why me?_

_Where did I go wrong in my life?_

_Silica: Kirito I think you're really nice inside_

_Klein: Sing a song!_

_Hit the road!_

_It's the way_

_To get around!_

_Before ya know it, you've_

_Gained ground with me!_

_Silica: I can't wait to_

_Bring back, Pina!_

_Kirito: Seriously?_

_Klein and Silica: And I know, All I need All along_

_is a path_

_And a pal_

_And a song_

_So, I'm singin'_

_And I'm Pallin…_

_Asuna: HEY KIRITO!_

They all jumped in surprise when they heard Asuna from behind them. Kirito turned around.

"Okay, I was joking, I really don't wanna see you at all," he said. "Matter of fact, why are you here? Your level is way lower than this floor."

Asuna cackled.

"Did you really think a simple number would keep us apart?" she said with a devilish grin. "It's time to die, Kirito."

Asuna sprinted straight for him.

**Asuna charged Kirito.**

**Kirito avoided the attack.**

"She's so fast!" exclaimed Silica.

"There's a reason they call me the Lightning Flash." said Asuna.

Kirito pulled out his sword.

"And there's a reason they call me the Black Swordsman!"

"Nobody calls either of you that," said Klein.

**Kirito and Asuna ignored Klein!**

**Asuna used Horizontal!**

**Kirito took damage!**

**Asuna repeatedly slashed Kirito!**

"Ow, ow, ow!" Kirito jumped back. "How the heck are you damaging me so much? My HP Regen is like, 200 per second!"

Asuna laughed.

"Haven't you heard of a little thing called balance? When you engage in combat, all levels temporarily become the same. That's the rules!"

"Crud."

**Kirito parried.**

**Asuna jumped back**

**Kirito used Sonic Leap.**

**Asuna dodged.**

**You can imagine where this is going.**

"Hey look!" Klein pointed in the other direction. "It's the flower!"

A few feet away was a small hill, upon which was a golden flower. Silica immediately ran over, while Klein ignited his sword. He ran over to where Kirito was badly losing.

**Klein joined the battle!**

**Klein used Fire Spin!**

**Asuna took damage.**

**Asuna got mad and started doing the real-life equivalent of button spamming! In other words, she attacked with her sword really fast.**

**Klein blocked!**

**Kirito used Rage Spike!**

**Distraction damage bonus!**

**Kirito and Klein used combo attack: Fire of Friendship in the Dark Solitude!**

Kirito's and Klein's swords glowed brightly, Klein's with fire, Kirito's with a shadowy aura. They crossed their weapons and the auras merged into one chaotic mass of energy. Acting as if they were one, they brought their swords down on Asuna, who screamed as the pain seared her body.

"What the heck was that?!" she exclaimed.

Kirito turned to Klein.

"That's what I'd like to know!"

"You two have never heard of a combo attack before?" said Klein.

"Combo attack?" said Kirito and Asuna at the same time.

"Basically, when two or more players are working together, they sometimes get an opportunity to combine their abilities into one super attack. Jeez, you guys really are antisocial"

"This means nothing!" said Asuna, who was looking quite bruised from the previous attack. She raised her sword again. "You're both gonna die! Just like that dumb girl, Sally!"

"S-Sachi?" Kirito stuttered.

"Her! Honestly, if that Granite Elemental hadn't killed her, then I would've! Then again, Kirito wouldn't have a single reason to keep her around. I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted her to die!"

Kirito fell to the ground.

"Hey, Asuna!"

The three of them turned to see Silica, but she wasn't alone. Beside her was a blue dragon, about three feet long, covered in feathers.

"Pina's back! And we're gonna take you down Asuna!" she yelled. Pina screeched in response.

"What the… a tiny feathered dragon?" exclaimed Asuna.

"Let's do this Pina!"

**Silica and Asuna are battling!**

**Go, Pina!**

**Pina used Breath attack!**

**Asuna flinched.**

**Silica used Rapid Stab!**

**Asuna took a lot of damage!**

**Asuna used Linear!**

**Pina and Silica avoided the attack.**

**Pina used Breath attack!**

**Asuna flinched.**

**Silica used Rapid Stab!**

**Asuna took a lot of damage!**

**Asuna used Linear!**

**Pina and Silica avoided the attack.**

**Pina used Breath attack!**

**Asuna flinched.**

**Silica used Rapid Stab!**

**Asuna took a lot of damage!**

**Asuna used Linear!**

**Pina and Silica avoided the attack.**

**Pina used Breath attack!**

**Pina and Silica used Combo attack: Dragon Claw!**

**Asuna is too weak to continue battling!**

Asuna breathed heavily, as Pina and Silica triumphantly walked over to the boys. Asuna pulled out a crystal.

"Teleport! Safe zone!"

_A little while later…_

"Thanks for helping me revive Pina!" said Silica. Pina screeched in agreement.

"You're welcome, Silica! You too, Pina!"

"And Kirito, I think you're a lot nicer than you let on." Silica winked. "Anyway, feel free to call me if you need my help!" She headed off, along with her dragon.

"That was a satisfying ending, wasn't it Kirito?" said Klein.

"Sure, whatever. I'm just glad to be out of here," said Kirito. "By the way, why exactly do you hang around me so much?"

"Cause I wanna see the friendly side of you!"

"Of course you do, Klein."


	6. Asuna goes bananas!

**And I'm back**

**silver-tritium-protactinium: Which ones?**

Asuna snuck around the bush. Kirito was lounging under a tree that was only a few yards away. _Perfect. There's no way he'll see me coming before my blade is soaked in his blood_. Asuna giggled and leaped out of her cover.

**Asuna used Flying Slash!**

**Kirito avoided the attack!**

"Wha…?"

Asuna fell face-first into the tree, while Kirito budged off to the side.

"Oh, hey Asuna. Nice weather today." Kirito said, not flinching an eye.

"HEY! You get over here and face your assassin like a man!" yelled Asuna.

"No thanks. The weather settings are at their best today, and I intend to take advantage of it."

"There's weather here?" Asuna lowered her sword.

"Yep. You just gotta lie down and relax."

"Seriously? Do you really expect me to waste time relaxing instead of killing you? I, Asuna, will never… ARE YOU IGNORING ME?"

Kirito was quietly snoozing off, completely oblivious to Asuna.

"The nerve!" she exclaimed. "First he shows me up with that combo attack, and now he falls asleep during my mad ramblings? Ugh!"

Asuna waited a moment.

"Then again, it would be very unceremonious to kill him in his sleep. I am an assassin with integrity after all."

She looked at him again

"You know, he is sort of cute… gah! None of that! You'll have all the time in the world to look at his ripped figure… I mean dead body when you kill him!"

She sat down.

"The weather really is nice today…"

Asuna let out a yawn.

_Twelve hours later…_

"Morning sleepyhead!" said Kirito, as Asuna stretched her arms. "What'd I tell you? It feels great to…"

Asuna jumped in surprise and drew her weapon.

"What the heck did you do to me, baka?"

"Nothing! I swear!"

Asuna checked herself. Kirito had indeed, done nothing. She grumbled in annoyance_. I seriously just fell asleep next to my target? What's wrong with me? This never happened before…_

"Uh, Asuna?" said Kirito, snapping her out of her trance.

"One meal!" she exclaimed.

"What?"

"I owe you one meal, and then we're even, and I can get back to killing you."

"Okay… that works…"

"See me at the Generic Restaurant, 6:00 am. And don't be late baka!"

_Generic Restaurant at 6:00 am. Yes, I'm using the transitions from Yandere Simulator the Musical. You should go read that._

After ordering their food, Asuna and Kirito were left alone for a while.

"So, why exactly did you feel the need to buy me dinner?" asked Kirito.

"N-no reason." Asuna stuttered. "I-it's not like I like you or anything! Anyway, tell me about your family!"

"Huh?"

"J-just so I know who I have to k-kill once I'm done with you. I have to admit, you've survived longer than any of my previous victims."

"I'll take that as a compliment." _Previous victims? Nah, that's ridiculous. Everyone knows that the Internet gives you a higher capacity for murder; she's probably just some regular teenage girl with an inferiority complex or something. I see no harm in telling her. I mean, what does my crazy sister have to worry about a PK in a video game? _

"I don't have any parents… they died in a car crash when I was a baby."

"Oh, I see," said Asuna, without much emotion.

"I was pretty much left to grow up with my sister."

"What's her name?"

"Her name is Suguhu, but everyone calls her Leafa." No one knew where the nickname came from, it just started.

"Leafa huh?" Asuna scribbled on a notebook. "Is she good at fighting?"

"Yeah, she's a kendo swordswoman."

"I see. I'll have to bring a sniper." _Oh come on, there's no way she can get a sniper._

"Hey, what exactly is your deal?" asked Kirito, somewhat sternly.

"Huh?"

"Why do want to kill me so badly?"

Asuna blinked. Then she chuckled.

"Because you're still alive."

"Still alive?"

"Most people who I try to kill die within an hour. You, however, have lived for months with me on your tail. "

"Wait, how many people have you killed?"

"I lost track. I think… around 800 or so."

"Eight hundred people?!"

"As I said, this is what I usually do with my weekends."

Kirito gulped.

"Oh don't look so scared!" Asuna laughed out loud. "I don't see why everyone's so scared of this! It's basically just real life."

"Because everyone's scared of dying!" Kirito said before he could stop himself.

"That's silly. If you die in the game, you die in real life. But if you die in real life, then you also die in real life. That's why I'm not scared. They all think of this as a game."

"And you don't?"

"Of course not! This is basically just the same as the real world! Except it's full of magic and everyone's so much stronger! Why would anyone think that's a bad thing?"

Kirito thought for a moment. _She has a point. In this world, I'm not bullied, or harassed, or sad. I'm actually powerful for once, I'm the Black Swordsman. And Aincrad is so much more beautiful than anything in the real world. So why would anyone want to leave?_

"I think I agree with you," Kirito said after a long pause. Asuna looked surprised.

"Really? Most people just pass me off as insane!"

"No, you're right, and you're insane." Kirito giggled. Asuna frowned.

"HELP!"

Asuna and Kirito suddenly heard a voice from outside. They thought to themselves. _What could that possibly be? We're in a safe zone!_

Quickly, the two adventurers hurried outside.

_Outside_

"HELP ME!"

Above a large crowd was a young man in clad armor, dangling from his neck by a long noose, that was hung from the clock tower in the center of town. What was most disturbing, was that a long red blade was sticking out from his stomach.

"PLEASE!" he yelled out.

Silence.

"OH MY GOSH! HE'S GONNA DIE!" a random stranger exclaimed

"No he's not!" said Kirito. He and Asuna had just arrived on the scene. Asuna was more or less bored, while Kirito was surprisingly relaxed. "We're in a safe zone, so there's no way he can die."

"THIS IS COMPLETE AGONY!" the man yelled again.

"Then again, it probably hurts like crazy. Say, did you do this, Asuna?"

Asuna piped up at the sound of her name.

"Kirito!" she exclaimed. "I'm surprised at you! Do you really think I would bother killing someone who had no relation to you? Heck no, I'm a committed murderer."

"CAN SOMEBODY GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!?"

"I don't care," said Asuna. "Do you, Kirito?"

"Not really. He'll probably come down eventually."

"I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA DIE, BUT THEN I DON'T DIE!"

"Maybe we should…" Kirito started to say, but then he noticed that the man's health was slowly depleting. Then, when it hit zero, he glowed blue and the death animation played. The man was dead.

Silence.

"OH MY GOSH! HE JUST GOT KILLED IN A SAFE ZONE!"

Kirito and Asuna looked at each other in shock.

"How did that happen?" said Kirito.

"More importantly…" said Asuna. "How do I do that?! If I can kill people in a safe zone, then no one will be able to hide from me!"

"Come on, let's investigate!" Kirito grabbed Asuna's hand started running up to where the noose was hung. _This is bad if it's possible to kill people in a safe zone, then no one will be safe! It will defeat the purpose of a safe zone! And, more importantly, I won't be able to hide from Asuna!_

At the top of the clock tower, Kirito and Asuna found where the noose was tied.

"Find anything?" asked Kirito, examining various parts of the room. Asuna shook her head.

"Nope. Whoever did this must have put a lot of work into cleaning up the evidence."

"What about that?" Kirito pointed to a small piece of paper lying on the ground. Asuna picked it up and read it out loud.

"Let's see... Grimm... Thorns... Griselda... Murder... revenge... sandwich... Gary... Strea? Wait a sec..." Asuna's eyes widened.

"What?" said Kirito.

"This is boring!" Asuna tore up the paper and tossed it out the window. "Oh hang on..." she grabbed one of the pieces before the wind could claim it. "PS. Asuna, I took your knife."

"The perp knows you?" asked Kirito.

"That's nuts!" Asuna threw out the paper. "Anyway, there's no way I'm gonna solve some boring mystery when I could be committing murder. Let's get back to our food, I'm getting really hungry"

"What about your knife?"

"Oh, don't worry, It's right..." Asuna reached into her belt but discovered that in place of her knife, was another roll of paper. "WHAT THE...?" Asuna scrambled around herself. "I could have sworn that... GAH!"

"What is it?"

"My knife... is gone." Asuna stared blankly at Kirito. She took long shallow breaths.

"Uh, are you okay?" Kirito said nervously.

Asuna shook her head and yelled out.

"WHEN I FIND THE IDIOT THAT TOOK MY KNIFE, I'M GOING TO CHOP OFF HIS HEAD AND HANG IT ON MY MANTLE!"

"Yikes, are you okay?" Kirito started backing off from a furious Asuna.

"YOU!" Asuna grabbed Kirito by the collar. "YOU'RE GOING TO HELP ME FIND MY KNIFE!"

"But I thought we were... GAH!" Asuna pulled Kirito along, as she dashed out.

_Agil's shop, 6:20_

The bell rang as Kirito and Asuna entered the store. Agil frowned.

"What the heck is Mr. and Mrs. heartless doing here?" he said sarcastically.

"Aw, can't we just let bygones be bygones?" Asuna said in mock-hurt.

"You know you betrayed the entirety of the players trapped in the game, with that little stunt you pulled at the boss fight."

Asuna scoffed.

"Well, Kirito did save a little girl's pet."

"He did? Doesn't sound like him."

Kirito glared at Asuna.

"You know I wasn't there on my own will! Klein made me!"

Asuna smirked.

"I don't know, the "Black Swordsman" looked like more of a white guy."

"I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear that," said Agil. "And for the record, I don't see the punch line"

"Why are you even going through all this trouble?" said Kirito to Asuna. "I thought you didn't care one iota about that guy."

"I don't, but I need my knife!" Asuna glared at him. "Otherwise, I can't threaten people into doing what I want!"

"Why did you come here exactly?" asked Agil.

"Oh yeah, I need your help to solve this case." Asuna said. She pulled out the same weapon that was lodged in the victim's chest.

"Uh, what case?"

_One explanation later._

"And you need me to use my Appraisell skill to find out who made the weapon?" asked Agil.

"Yes," said Asuna. "Because everyone knows that step one to solving a mystery, is to figure out who made the murder weapon."

"That doesn't make any sense," said Kirito. "First of all, you're not a detective. Second of all, we didn't even question any witnesses first. Third, "Lightning Flash" isnt even a good detective name."

"And I suppose that "The Black Swordsman" is?"

"Touché."

Agil examined the item. It was about five meters long and deep crimson. It was shaped with one curved side and another full of spikes.

"Well." Agil started. "It's safe to say that this sword is called "Guilty Thorn". It was made by a blacksmith named Lizbeth."

"Lizbeth?"

"Yeah. She's a shut-in reclusive nutcase, but she knows how to make a sword."

"Oh yeah," said Asuna. "I threatened her into making Twilight's Dawn." she pulled out her white rapier.

"Is she the kind of person who would make a sword that could kill someone in a safe zone?"

"Nope. This has got to be some kind of bug or hack. There's no way that Kayaba would make a way to kill someone in a safe zone."

"Maybe..." Asuna took the weapon. "I have an idea! I'll just stab Kirito with Guilty Thorn, and if he dies, we know that Lizbeth is our next lead!"

"WHAT?" Kirito jumped.

"I said, one meal and then I would kill you. Well, I'll just kill you now!" Asuna equipped Guilty Thorn.

Kirito started backing off.

"Uhh, don't you want me to help you find your knife first?"

"And pass off this golden opportunity? No way!"

Asuna started advancing on him. Kirito shuddered and dashed away.

"HELP! THERE'S A DERANGED PSYCHOPATH CHASING ME!" he yelled as he exited to store.

Asuna laughed.

"You can't outrun me! I'm the Lightning Flash!"

She ran after him, leaving Agil on his own.

"Why does everyone have a nickname all of a sudden?" he wondered.

_One Scooby-Doo style chase scene later..._

Kirito ran inside the building and locked the door behind him. He could still hear Asuna cackling behind him.

"Oh Kirito!" she gloated. "I've never had so much fun in my whole life! It's going to be oh-so-much more satisfying when I finally get to take your life."

_Uh oh. If she were crazy before, now she's gone full-psycho! I gotta get away from her somehow!_

Asuna laughed again. She sinisterly grinned and starting singing.

_Asuna: Knock knock_

_I know that you're in there_

_Open up the door_

_I only wanna play a little_

_Knock Knock_

_You can't keep me away_

_It's already too late_

_You've got nowhere to run away_

_I see you through the keyhole_

_Our eyes are locked together_

_You don't scream in horror_

_So I'd like to see you closer_

_Knock Knock_

_Here I come to find you_

_Breaking down the door_

_Can't wait to play a game called killer_

_Kirito_

_Where is it you've gone to?_

_Do you think you'll live?_

_Our little game won't end till you're dead_

_I hear your footsteps_

_Thumping loudly through the hallways_

_I can hear your sharp breaths_

_You're not very good at hiding_

Kirito: I think this is a blacksmith… Wait a minute!

_Asuna: Just wait, you can't hide from me, I'm coming_

_Just wait, you can't hide from me, I'm coming_

_Just wait, you can't hide from me, I'm coming_

_Just wait, you can't hide from me_

Kirito: Asuna! I think you should stop!

Asuna: Well, that's what they all say!

_Asuna: Kirito_

_We're stuck in the forge now_

_It's your final day_

_So why don't you just say your prayers now_

Kirito: Seriously! You'll regret this!

Asuna: Do you really think I'll fall for that?

_Kirito_

_Nothing you can do now_

_Just give up and plead_

_Your little mind games will not work on me_

Kirito: Uh, I don't think you've fully grasped the situation here!

_Asuna: I'm coming closer_

_Looking underneath the floor but_

_You're not here, I wonder_

_Could you be inside the closet?_

Kirito: Think about this, please!

_Asuna: Ding dong,_

_I have found you_

_Ding dong, _

_you were hiding here_

_Now you're dead_

_Ding dong, _

_finally found you dear_

_Now you're dead_

_Ding dong,_

_looks like I have won_

_Now you're dead_

_Ding dong, _

_pay the-_

_Kirito: FURY SWIPES!_

"What the...?"

Kirito unleashed a storm of slashes at Asuna, his Elucidator in one hand, and a less rare sword in his other.

"You can dual wield!?" exclaimed Asuna.

"I warned you!" Now it was Kirito's turn to laugh.

**Kirito used blades of fury!**

** Asuna took damage!**

"This is crazy! I didn't know you could hold two swords at once in this game!" Asuna jumped on a nearby table, as Kirito advanced on her.

"Correction. Anyone can hold two swords at once." Kirito deflected a stab from Asuna with one sword and attacked with the other. "You have to know how to use both in synch, in order to dual wield!"

"Wait, anyone can do it?"

"Well, duh. If I had a skill exclusive to me, then can you imagine how broken this game would be?"

Kirito and Asuna stared at each other for a moment. Then they both grinned.

"Let's finish this!" they said at the same time.

And so It followed, sword against sword. Skills flying in every direction, weapons being knocked off the tables, sharp objects being thrown. Kirito could do more damage, but Asuna was faster. She dodged almost all of his attacks but was unable to dish out any damage without taking a substantial amount herself. Eventually, Kirito's less rare sword broke, leaving him open to a fatal blow.

Unfortunately, this battle ended with the words.

"What's going on here?"

Asuna and Kirito stopped. At the door, was a young woman with pink hair. She carried a large hammer in her arms.

"Uh, hello?" said Kirito.

"Oh, it's you!" said Asuna, cheerfully. "Nice to see you again, Lisbeth!"

"Asuna?!" Lisbeth jumped in surprise. She fumbled with her hammer for a moment, before grabbing a nearby lever and throwing it.

Asuna looked confused for a moment before the floor underneath her opened up.

"A trap door?" Kirito wondered.

"AAAHH!" Asuna plummeted into the dark abyss.

Lisbeth sighed out of relief, and she closed the trapdoor.

"Sorry about that sir," she said. "That woman is pure evil! She's the entire reason I set up an elaborate system of traps!" she walked over to Kirito.

"No kidding. She's been trying to kill me since this game began."

Lisbeth's eyes widened.

"You're her new victim?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

Lisbeth blinked.

"Sorry, it's just that... the thing is... she's kind of a murder celebrity."

"Huh?"

"She streams games a lot. Apparently, she enjoys selecting a player and then focusing on killing them. What's really scary, is that none of her victims have lasted more than a day!"

"Weird, she said the exact same thing to me."

"She does that. I think it's how she got so famous!"

Kirito sighed.

"Well, I guess I'll be on my way."

He walked out the door, leaving Lisbeth on her own.


	7. The Harmonius Blacksmith

Kirito sighed as he exited the blacksmith shop. _Boy, that was quite the endevor. Anyway, Lisbeth will be able to deal with Asuna, and __I can finally get back to relaxing in the..._

_ Actually, maybe it's in my better interest to investigate that guy's death. I mean, I don't really care about him, but I'm quite curious as to who killed him and how he did it. Kayaba wouldn't actively add a way to kill players in a safe zone. He may be a murderer, but he's a fair player._

_ All the same, I should probably..._

"KIRITO!"

Kirito jumped when he heard Lisbeth call out his name.

"What is it?" he asked.

"GET OVER HERE!" shouted Lisbeth. She pulled out a hook-like device, and tossed it at him. The hook dug into his shirt and then a chain (which was connecting Lisbeth to the hook) yanked him into her direction.

"What?" said Kirito, after being pulled back into Lisbeth's residence.

"You broke my master sword!" exclaimed Lisbeth. She held up the damaged weapon that Kirito had used to fight Asuna.

"Really?" Kirito chuckled. "Asuna broke that thing like a twig! If that was your master sword, then you must be a really bad blacksmith."

"I'll have you know that I'm the greatest blacksmith in SAO!" she yelled. Then she rubbed her arm. "It's just... metal prices are pretty high recently. If I had the right metal, I could make something that could shatter that Elucidator of yours!"

Kirito laughed harder. "Nothing can break Elucidator! It's the best sword that you can get from a monster drop! Seriously, I had to fight the 17th floor boss quite a few times in order to get this." Then Kirito stopped and thought for a moment. "Actually, why don't you just get the metal yourself?"

"Well... the thing is..." Lisbeth gritted her teeth. "The metal that I need is on the 55th floor."

"That doesn't sound so bad. You're level 60."

"It's in a dungeon."

"Everything's in a dungeon."

"Guarded by a dragon."

Kirito blinked.

"Wow, not only are you a sub-par blacksmith, but you're a terrible adventurer if you can't handle some dumb dragon. I could probably beat him in my sleep!"

"Oh yeah, wanna bet?" Lisbeth grinned.

"You have my attention."

"If you can get me the right metal, then I'll make you the most powerful sword in the game. If you can't, then you have to pay for my master sword!"

"Deal. And good for me, cause I really need a second sword."

"Why? Your Elucidator had plenty of durability."

"No." Kirito grinned. "I'm a dual wielder."

Lisbeth's eyes widened.

"You're lying." she said.

"No I'm not." Kirito replied.

"You're not?"

"No."

"You actually have the dexterity needed to use two swords at once!?"

"Beyond it."

Kirito checked the clock on the wall.

"Anyway, let's get going. We should probably start now."

"We?! I'm not going to a dragon-guarded dungeon!"

"You know that you can only get metal if a blacksmith is in the area, right?'

Lisbeth blinked. Then she facepalmed herself. "DARN IT!"

Kirito laughed again and pulled out a teleport crystal.

"Teleport! 55th floor, dungeon where rare metal is!"

"Oh come on!" said Lisbeth. "There's no way that that'll actually work!"

POOF!

_55th floor, Lair of X'rphan._

Kirito and Lisbeth appeared at the base of a tall mountain, covered in snow. The wind howled, as cold air rushed pass the two adventurers.

"See?" Kirito smirked. "It did work!"

He pulled out a black winter coat, along with a matching scarf and boots.

"It's s-so c-c-cold here!" Lisbeth shivered.

"Well, it is a mountain!" Kirito pointed out. "Guess we better start climbing. And please don't slow me down or die, I don't want another..."

He stopped.

"Another what?"

"Nevermind."

Kirito grimly started making his way up the mountain, a shaking Lisbeth followed behind.

_I wonder what Asuna is up to?_

_ Mysterious dark alleyway._

"Hello?" Yolko, shaking with nervousness. "I got a letter that said to meet someone here!"

Her breathing was heavy and labored. She could've sworn that someone was behind her, slowly creeping forward...

"SUPRISE!"

The woman shrieked as a dark figure tackled her to the ground. She turned around to face two hazel eyes. Her attacker was a 15-year old girl with chestnut hair. She wore a white coat with red highlights.

"Who are you?" Yolko panicked.

"I'm Asuna" she cackled. Yolko tried to escape, but Asuna was pinning her down.

"Don't try to run away!" Asuna giggled. "I've killed more people than a large murder guild." Yolko wasn't quite sure what to make of that, but she didn't want to trifle with the person who was currently holding her to the ground.

"What do you want from me?" she said, terrified.

"Don't act innocent. What did you do to that man?!"

"What?"

"That guy who was left hanging over the town square, six hours ago. And at the same time, you were running away all nervous-like! As if you had something to hide!"

"You mean Caynz? I would never kill him!"

"That's exactly the kind of thing that a murderer would say!"

"You have to believe me, I don't have a single reason to hate him at all!"

"That's a lie, now tell me how you did it!"

"Did what?"

"Kill someone in a safe zone." Asuna grinned.

"I didn't kill him! He was... was..."

"Was who?"

Yolko took a deep breath.

"I was just going to propose to him!

_Back to Kirito_

Kirito and Lisbeth had speant the last few paragraphs climbing the absurdly tall mountain. While most dungeons in SAO were usually just walk-through-solve-puzzles-kill-the-boss, this one was more of a climb than a walk. A very long and tedious climb. And did I mention cold? In short, it sucked.

"Kiri...To... It's... So... Cold..." Lisbeth sputtered.

"Well, of course it's gonna be cold, it's a gosh-darn mountain!" replied Kirito.

"Forgive me... but I... don't get out that much."

"I can see that."

"Oh why did I think this was a good idea!? I could still be safe at home, working on inventions."

"Can you keep it down! It's hard enough to climb without you rambling!" Kirito pulled himself over a ledge. "Wait, you're an inventor?"

"Well, duh!" Lisbeth followed after him. "You think a regular playier could make that hook that I used on you?"

"Don't remind me."

"Ugh! If only I had finished my flight prototype by now!"

"Flight?"

"Yeah, I'm working on a way to fly in-game. It's been my dream ever since..." Lisbeth stopped.

"What?"

"Nevermind. As I was saying, I like to mess with the game's mechanics. One of my favorites is the inventory system"

"Seriously? You mean you like bags?"

"No not that! I find it really cool that you can draw an item out of nowhere just by thinking about it."

As time passed on, Lisbeth grew silent, which Kirito was initially grateful for. Though he began to get a little bored. As if climbing mountains wasn't stimulation enough. Eventually, the two climbers made it to an area of flat terrain.

"Oh thank goodness!" exclaimed Lisbeth, stretching herself out. She pulled out a map, along with a sextant.

"There are sextants in this game?"

"No. I made this." she said, pointing the device at the sun. She checked the map. "Okay, we should be there in about..."

"LOOK OUT!"

Lisbeth looked up and saw a giant drunken ape standing above her. It was a Giant Drunken Ape (Seriously, that's what it's called.)

Lisbeth dashed off, while Kirito drew his sword.

"Not another Giant Drunk Ape!" he taunted the beast. It roared at him. "You don't scare me!" Kirito grinned and started charging it.

"Are you crazy?!" yelled Lisbeth. "You'll get yourself killed!"

"He's got nothing on me! I'm the Black Swordsman!"

**Kirito used flying slash!**

** Giant Drunken Ape fainted!**

** The sound of Giant Drunken Ape's Death attracted more Giant Drunken Apes!**

** Try and say that three times fast.**

"Oh crud." said Kirito. He called out to Lisbeth. "I need your help to kill this Giant Drunken Apes!"

"You want me to kill Giant Drunken Apes?! I can't fight! I'm a blacksmith for goodness sake!"

"Why don't you try that hook?"

Lisbeth nervously pulled out her grappling device.

"H-hey! G-g-giant Drunken Ape! G-get o-over h-h-here!"

She threw the hook as far as she could... and it landed a few feet away in the snow.

"Seriously?!" Kirito angrily shouted.

"Sorry! I don't work well under pressure!"

"What do I gotta do?" Kirito parried an attack from another Giant Drunken Ape. "Sing a motivational song or something?"

"Actually, th-that would k-kinda help!" Lisbeth admitted.

"Fine! Gosh this is so OOC.."

"OOC?"

"Out of character."

_Kirito: We spent the whole day just climbing this gosh-darn mountain_

_And I'm not ready to give up just yet, so Lisbeth,_

_You've gotta fight for the light if you want it_

_Just go ahead and give it a try_

_I know you're scared, just be brave, you can do it_

_Unless you actually want to die, So_

_Fight for the light_

_Fight for the Light_

_Come on now_

_Throw that hook of your one hundred feet!_

_It's fight or die._

_Lisbeth: I choose to fight!_

**Lisbeth used GET OVER HERE!**

**Giant Drunken Ape was pulled towards Lisbeth**

**Lisbeth destroyed Giant Drunken Ape with her mace!**

Lisbeth: Oh my gosh...

_Kirito: Sometimes you just gotta kick all that fear away_

_because in the end this is all really just a game._

_Lisbeth: I gotta fight for my life, cause I want it_

_And this is not the day that I die_

_So with my brain, and your strength we can do it_

_Kirito: I'm pretty sure I add way more than just that_

_Both: We gotta fight for the light_

_Fight for the Light _

_Come on and_

_Keep it moving, don't stop 'til you die_

_Come on and fight!_

_Come on and fight!_

_Kirito: Don't be afraid_

_I'll be with you all the way_

_Both: Come on and fight for the light!_

_fight for the light!_

_Come on and fight for the light!_

_Don't ever die_

_Come on and fight for the light!_

_fight for the light!_

_Come on and fight!_

_Come on and fight for the light!_

_Don't ever die_

_Come on and fight!_

_Come on and fight!_

_Come on and fight!_

Kirito and Lisbeth gathered up the drops from their slaughter.

"Thank goodness we survived that!" said Kirito. "You were awesome, Lisbeth!"

"Oh... thanks." she blushed a little bit. _This is an __interesting new side of him. _"I'm a little surprised myself..."

"Don't be!" he beamed. "There are only two things you need to succeed at any task."

"What are they?"

"First, a lot of confidence in everything!"

"Sounds good!"

"Second, a sick outfit and an cool nickname!"

"What?" Lisbeth turned her head to the side. "Is that why you called yourself the Black Swordsman earlier?"

"You know it!" Kirito laughed, genuinely this time. Then he stopped himself. "Oh man, Klein must be rubbing off on me..."

"Oh look, it's X'rphan."

Kirito turned and realized that the dragon was standing before them. It was eight meters tall, twenty meters long, and utterly gigantic. It was a white-winged dragon with huge jaws and ruby-red eyes. Its body was covered in scale-like crystal shards of ice.

X'phan let out a mighty roar at the two adventurers.

"It's huge!" exclaimed Lisbeth.

"Well, at least it's not singing." Kirito cleared his throat. "Lisbeth, get outta here!"

"Seriously?"

**X'rphan used Breath Attack!**

The dragon realeased a huge wave of frozen energy from its mouth. Lisbeth threw her hook into a nearby rock, and pulled herself out of the way. However, the ground beneath her gave way and she fell into a hole that the snow had somehow concealed.

"Lisbeth!" exclaimed Kirito. X'rphan roared again. Kirito took a deep breath and jumped into the hole after her.

_One extremely long fall later..._

"Ugh..." Kirito opened his eyes. He was in some kind of ice cavern. Above him, was a gigantic hole, around the same size as the dragon. There was something warm on his body, something alive, something... with pink hair?

"Lisbeth?"

At the sound of her name, Lisbeth yelped and jumped off of Kirito.

"Thank's for that." he said. "Where are we? What happened? Matter of fact, what exactly were you doing just now?"

Lisbeth giggled, but still blushed nonetheless.

"Well, I was getting cold so..."

"WHERE'S MY SHIRT?!" Kirito covered his torso.

Lisbeth grinned nervously.

"It's been a while since I was alone with an unconcious male!"

Kirito blinked.

"Exactly how far did you go?!"

Lisbeth blushed harder.

"Only... on the upper half." Then she laughed. "Then again, I had such a good time on just that!"

Kirito grabbed his shirt, which Lisbeth had apparently tossed a few feet away. He also noticed that Lisbeth had started a fire. He put his shirt back on, much to Lisbeth's disappointment.

"Aw, come on! You could have at least let me watch!" she pouted.

"Where did this sudden confidence come from?"

"The fact that I was alone in a somewhat-warm area with an unconcious man! Don't worry, there was no tongue involved!" Kirito really hoped she was telling the truth.

"Sheesh, you've been in there way too long." He said. Lisbeth nodded sadly.

"I haven't left my shop since... since..."

"Since what?"

"Since I lost Silica." she admitted. She sniffed. "She was my best friend."

"Oh crud, not another tearful backstory."

"We entered the game together, we stuck with each other when we learned that were at risk of death."

"Technically, we're always at risk of death."

"We always wanted to fly, that was our dream. It's why I'm working on the prototype."

"Really? How does it work?" asked Kirito. Lisbeth ignored him.

"But then..." Lisbeth started to tear up. "She... she..."

"Fell of a cliff near a dragon's nest?"

Lisbeth nodded grimly.

"And now I... don't know what to do! I'm scared of dying... Kirito," she said. "I'm scared that I'll lost another person I care about!"

Kirito remembered something.

_Flashback_

_ Sachi let out a small chuckle._

_ "I'm joking of course. If anything…"_

_ Kirito noticed a small tear in her eye._

_ "Sachi?"_

_ "I'm scared of dying… Kirito," she said. "I'm scared that I'll get everyone else killed… I'm scared that… that…"_

_ Flashback over!_

Kirito shook his head, clearing the memory. Right now, he needed to focus.

"Let's just teleport out of here" he said.

Lisbeth shook her head.

"I tried. It didn't work."

Kirito gasped.

"This is an anti-crystal zone?!"

"Well, yeah. Don't worry, they're always safe and easy to escape."

"Easy to escape... hmm..." Kirito thought to himself. "I know what to do! I'll just run out the cave!"

"Um, you know it's like a hundred feet up, right?"

But Kirito wasn't listening. He walked backwards a couple steps and leaped up onto the wall, about one-tenth up. He dashed upwards, with no sign of faltering determination.

"Woah, he might actually do it!" Lisbeth said in surprise. Then Kirito ran out of momentum and plummeted onto the ground.

**Kirito faceplanted into the snow!**

"Ugh..." Kirito rubbed his head. "Was that really nesscary, Cardinal?"

**Kirito used sarcasm!**

** It's not very effective...**

Kirito thought some more.

"If it didn't work the first time... then it'll definitely work the second time!" he exclaimed.

"I don't think..." Lisbeth began to say, but Kirito was already falling back down.

**Kirito used stupidity!**

** It's super effective!**

Kirito groaned.

"Let's get some sleep." he said "We can figure out what to do tomorrow." he pulled out a sleeping bag.

_The next day..._

As Lisbeth awoke from her slumber, she found Kirito digging through the snow with solemn determination, his muscles glistening in the morning light. Deep within her stirred feelings she had not felt in many moons. It was at that moment that she learned that the temperature of her heart...

"Uh, earth to Lisbeth!"

She snapped out of her trance, but still very aware of...

"Are you okay?"

"Gah!" Lisbeth shook her head. "I'm fine!" Then she cleared her throat. "You look like you've slept well."

Kirito rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I found what we were looking for."

He pulled out a blue crystal, not a teleport one, of course.

"What is it?" asked Lisbeth

Kirito grinned.

"It's the metal we were looking for."

"REALLY?!" Lisbeth examined the item. "I've never seen crystallite ingot before!"

From above, a huge roar was heard.

"Oh, that's probably our way out." said Kirito. "Hold on tight."

"Huh? Wha..."

X'rphan swooped into the hole. Kirito grabbed Lisbeth's hand and plunged his sword into the dragon's scales. The beast roared in pain, as it flew upwards, into the air. Lisbeth screamed as they emerged at the speed of jet plane.

Once they exited the hole, X'rphan stopped suddenly. Kirito and Lisbeth on the other hand, kept flying upwards. Lisbeth looked over his shoulder to see the most beautiful sunrise that she had ever seen.

Normally, when one sees an image on a computer or TV, they never get the feeling of how it is to actually see it in real life. And it was magnificient. The sunrays spread about in every direction, reflecting off the various ice crystals here and there. The clouds were dyed pink from the angled light, which danced across the icy air making a rainbow of colors.

"It's amazing!" exclaimed Lisbeth.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so!" yelled Kirito. The wind was quite loud, as one would expect from flying at least twenty-five miles an hour. "Quick! Pull out a teleport crystal!"

"I never would have seen this if I'd never left my shop! Thank you so much Kirito!"

"The crystal..."

"Don't freak out, but I... I..." Lisbeth paused for a moment, the wind pushing her hair upwards. "I'm falling in love with you!"

"Sorry, what was that?!"

"I said I'm in love with you!"

"What?"

"I said I love you!"

"I don't know what you're saying, but can this wait until we get back home?!"

"I can't, I dropped the teleport crystal!"

"What?!"

"Weird how these things work, huh? Anyway, I guess this is goodbye Kirito!"

"What?!"

Lisbeth laughed and let go of Kirito's hand. She smiled before straightening out her body and fell straight towards the ground.

"LISBETH!" exclaimed Kirito.


	8. Dragon Master Silica

"Lisbeth!" Kirito called out. He choked on a sob.

"No..." he said. "Not again."

Kirito pulled out a teleport crystal, he was going to have to do this fast, and accurately. He tilted himself and pointed his head towards the ground. He started falling faster, heading towards Lisbeth, but she was still out of sight.

Kirito tried what he could to go faster praying that this wouldn't end up like the last time he wasn't able to save someone...

Unfortunately, his vision began to grow dim and he blacked out.

_A little while later..._

For the third time in the whole adventure, Kirito woke up. This time, he awakened to the sight of many clouds flying past him. He was still in the sky, but he was riding on top of something.

"You're awake!" he heard someone say. He got up and saw a familiar face.

"Silica?" he questioned. "What are you doing up here?"

She giggled.

"Why don't you ask Pina?"

"Huh?"

Kirito looked down and gasped. He was riding on another dragon, with its blue body covered in soft, pale blue feathers and two long ones in the place of a tail. Immediately, he recognized the creature.

"Pina?"

"That's right!" said Silica. "Pina's all grown up! Now I can ride her!"

"Wanna rephrase that?"

"No, why?"

"Nevermind. Wait a minute, what happened to..."

"INCOMING!"

Kirito and Silica looked around in confusion, and they noticed some kind of screaming pink projectile flying in their direction.

"Uh oh!" exclaimed Silica. "Pina, dodge!"

Pina roared in agreement and barrel-rolled out of the way. When the unidentified flying object was closer, Kirito got a much better look at it.

"Lisbeth?"

Lisbeth was wearing some kind of crazy Da-Vinci style wings, along with a small spot near the back that shot out gas.

"Kirito!" she said in delight. She pulled a switch and corrected herself. Then she noticed the other person riding Pina.

"Silica?" she questioned.

"Lisbeth?" replied Silica.

"SILICA!" Lisbeth flew straight into her childhood friend. "You're alive!"

Kirito watched as the two BFFs reunited.

"What happened?" said Lisbeth. "I thought you were dead after you fell off of that cliff!"

"I thought I was gonna die!" Silica giggled. "But then Pina saved me!"

"Who's Pina?"

"This is Pina!" Silica indicated to the dragon that she was riding.

Kirito looked at Silica strangely.

"How did she save you? Last time I saw her, she was three feet long!"

"She grabbed me by my shirt and lowered me to the ground!"

"Oh, that makes sense."

"Do you two know each other?"

"Yeah, I helped her get a special metal!" said Kirito. Lisbeth's eyes widened.

"Wait a minute, you _knew_ she was alive?"

"Uh, yeah," said Silica. "He helped me revive Pina!"

Lisbeth blinked. She turned to Kirito.

"Why didn't you just tell me that earlier and spare me the heartache!"

"Don't worry Liz," said Silica. "That's just what he does! Besides, he's really nice on the inside!"

"Don't make me seem like the good guy, Silica," said Kirito

"On the inside you say?" Lisbeth winked seductively.

"Lisbeth, we talked about that!" Silica pouted. "Anyway, you actually built that flying thing?"

"Yep! I was gonna surprise Kirito by pretending to fall to my death before flying past him! Good thing it actually works, cause I've literally never tested it!"

"That's great! Now we can both fly!"

Pina growled.

"Sorry Pina, I meant all three of us can fly!"

"You can understand her?" asked Kirito.

"Yep! That's why I call myself Dragon Master Silica!"

Kirito chuckled.

"It's just like I say, the only three things you need to accomplish anything, is confidence, a cool outfit, and an awesome nickname!"

"Hey, Lisbeth is the only one here without a nickname!"

Lisbeth giggled, her device shaking her up and down as she did.

"Okay... how about I be... the Harmonious Blacksmith?"

"Oh, just like the song?" asked Silica.

"Yep! Speaking of songs..."

"Oh no..." said Kirito.

Lisbeth fluttered downwards as she began to sing.

_Lisbeth: With metal and gas tanks and strings_

_I crafted my own pair of wings_

_Silica: Though she was born on ground_

_She's a dragon in flight!_

_My two best friends with me_

_Pina and Lisbeth_

_Both: Oh, Oh, Oh!_

_Let's take a dragon flight!_

_Up to the highest height!_

_Lisbeth: Let's go fly on wings, and head out soaring_

_Silica: Up through the atmosphere_

_Up where the air is clear_

_Oh, let's go anywhere!_

_Lisbeth: Come on Kirito, sing along!_

_Kirito: No! Not this time!_

Silica: Please?

Kirito: NO!

_Kirito: When you feel it flying up here_

_All at once, you're lighter than air_

_You can dance on the breeze_

_Over mountains and streams_

_And there's not one sign_

_Of Asuna's knife_

_All: Oh oh OH!_

_Let's fly up in the sky_

_Up to the highest height_

_Let's take a dragon flight, and we'll go soaring_

_Up through the atmosphere_

_Up where the air is clear_

_Oh, let's go, have a flight!_

Silica and Lisbeth gleefully laughed while Kirito sulked, trying to hide his blush.

_Back at the Blacksmith shop..._

"It's done!" exclaimed Lisbeth, lifting her new creation. It was aqua-colored, its grip a darker color than the rest of the blade and completely straight. It lead up to a crossguard that was exactly perpendicular to the grip and it resembled a pair of conjoined dagger blades. At the center of the guard was a large aquamarine gem. The blade itself was a deep aqua color, the base of the blade had a light-aqua attachment that created a natural indentation. It was truly an amazing weapon.

"It's amazing!" said Silica. Kirito nodded an agreement.

"I'd say that it was worth the long journey and the near-death experience," he said. "By the way Lisbeth, what were you saying?"

Lisbeth blushed.

"Wh-what?"

"Huh?" said Silica.

"W-well the thing is... I..."

"HEY KIRITO!"

The three adventurers turned and saw a nightmare standing in the doorway. Or, more specifically, Asuna.

"Guess who's back?" she taunted in a sing-song voice.

"Asuna!" exclaimed Kirito.

"How did you escape my basement?" asked Lisbeth.

"Forget about that!" said Silica. "Let's get out of here while we still can!"

She grabbed Lisbeth's arm and dashed out the backdoor, leaving Kirito to Asuna.

"Hey!" he said. "Don't leave me with her!" Asuna grinned and stepped forward.

"So... making friends I see?"

"No! I was just getting a sword from Lisbeth, and Silica just happened to be here!"

"Right... soft-head."

"Hey!"

He grabbed his new sword, Dark Repulser, and his old sword, Elucidator.

"With these two swords, I have the ability to use my ultimate technique!"

"Great. Save it for later, we've got a murder-mystery to wrap up!"

"What?"


	9. Laughing Coffin

**Schwarzer: Uh thanks? I'm kinda having trouble figuring out what definition of "sick" you're using. But anyway, Kirito and Asuna's charecter arcs are based mostly around each others. And i'm pretty sure you can imagine how their relationship will turn out.**

"Where are you taking me?" asked Kirito, as Asuna pulled him along.

"I figured out everything while you were hanging out with Lisbeth. You see, the guy who died was named Caynz, and he had a girlfriend named Yolko. They used to be part of a guild called Golden Apple. At some point, the group found a rare-drop item. The guild leader, Griselda departed to the front lines to sell it but never came back, only for the guild to discover that she was dead. The guild was disbanded but the culprit was never found. After Caynz died, I found Yolko who was convinced that Caynz was killed by the ghost of Griselda, which I naturally knew was false. Then she died. But it turns out that she and Caynz faked their death by exploiting glitches so that they could figure out who killed Griselda, but then I found out that another former member of Golden Apple named Schmitt who was tricked into helping murder Griselda. And the real killer was Griselda's husband Grimlock, who hired a murder guild called Laughing Coffin to kill her. Grimlock also hired Laughing Coffin to kill Yolko and Caynz, so I need your help to get my knife back from Laughing Coffin's leader, Kuradeel,"

"What?" said Kirito, not quite grasping what Asuna just told him.

"Kuradeel took my knife, and now I need you to get it back!"

"Why do you need me?" asked Kirito. "I'm pretty sure you could handle them on your own"

"Aw, thank you!" Asuna smiled. "But I do need cannon fodder."

"Cannon fodder? Wow, that hurts a lot, I'm never calling anyone that again."

Asuna pulled out a crystal.

"Teleport, Graveyard!"

POOF!

Asuna and Kirito appeared upon a rather unpleasant scene. Caynz and Yolko were tied up at the foot of a tall tree, while five players were standing around it.

The middle figure, probably Kuradeel, spoke first.

"Well everyone, what shall we do with them?"

All of the other members called out.

"Burn them!"

"Eat them!"

"Poison them!"

"Make them fight! Last one standing is the winner!"

"You know we're just gonna kill them afterward?"

"Aw, you ruined it!"

"Hey! Laughing Coffin!" exclaimed Kirito.

The guild members turned and noticed him and Asuna standing in front of them.

"Release those two at once!" Kirito drew Elucidator and Dark Repulser. "Or face the wrath of the Black Swordsman!"

Kuradeel grinned.

"Oh boy, more people to mess around with!"

Asuna gasped.

"If you think you can mess around with Kirito-I mean me, then you've got another thing coming for toying with the boy I... wanna kill!"

"You hesitated." one of the Laughing Coffin members pointed out."

Asuna blushed.

"That's... been happening a bit more often lately," she shook her head. "Anyway, the Lightning Flash doesn't let anyone push her around!" she drew Twilight's Dawn.

"That's nice," Kuradeel said, his grin growing ever more terrifying. "I'm Kuradeel, and this is Death Gun, Spiegel, Johnny Black, and Lux," he pointed to each member.

"Enough talking," said Death Gun. "It's showtime!"

"I couldn't agree more!" said someone from behind Kirito.

Everyone immediately turned to face the voice. Klein was running into the scene, sword ablaze. He stopped next to Kirito and struck a pose.

"For the Salamander Samurai is here to help his best friend!" he exclaimed.

Kirito facepalmed.

"Firstly, since when were we friends? Secondly, since when did you get that nickname?"

"Since always, and I thought it would make sense if we both had them. I chose Salamander Samurai because..."

"ENOUGH!" yelled Johnny Black. "Can we fight already? We still outnumber you guys five to three!"

"Oh really?" said Klein.

"Yes,"

"Oh _really?"_

"Uh, yes,"

_"Oh really?"_

"YES! BECAUSE FIVE IS MORE THAN THREE!"

"By how much?"

"TWO! FIVE MINUS THREE EQUALS TWO!"

Klein chuckled.

"Well, you probably should have attacked before we got _two _new players!"

"Huh?"

From above, Lisbeth descended downwards with her jetpack, and Silica was holding on tightly.

Lisbeth looked around.

"Looks like the Harmonious Blacksmith got here just in time!" then she noticed Klein and grinned. "You know, you should've told me there were more here, cause then I would've brought my..."

"And I'm Dragon Master Silica!" Silica interrupted.

The members of Laughing Coffin glared at Johnny Black.

"Oh drat," he said.

Kirito cleared his throat.

"You know, you guys don't actually have to do this for me... I mean, I could probably..."

"Forget about that Kirito!" said Klein.

"Huh?"

Silica giggled.

"You helped us when we needed it, now it's our turn to repay you!"

"You saved my life..." said Klein.

"...saved Pina..." added Silica.

"...And helped me realize that I shouldn't isolate myself from the world, or else I'll never get to enjoy it!" Lisbeth finished.

"You guys..." Kirito thought back to a memory from a long time ago...

"Oh who cares!" exclaimed Lux. "I wanna shoot some arrows already!"

"Agreed," said Kuradeel, a machete in each hand, "Let's get the song going!"

"Song?" asked Asuna.

Kuradeel grinned even more fiercely.

"It's showtime!" exclaimed every member of Laughing Coffin.

"Oh crud, is that music?" said Asuna.

Lisbeth pulled out her steam gun and hook.

"Oh boy, I've always wanted to take on five men at once!"

Silica took out Pina's Familiar Crystal.

Klein took a battle stance with his flaming sword.

Asuna and Kirito readied themselves, as the first verse of the battle began.

_Kuradeel: It's close to midnight_

_ Death Gun: Technically It is always midnight here_

_Asuna: Under the moonlight_

_It's lovely though I wanna stop your heart_

_Kirito: This is not me!_

_Friendship is not a winner's way of living_

_Lisbeth: Now feel the steam!_

_Spiegel: No one in the world can beat our dance moves!_

_Lux: You're paralyzed_

_Laughing Coffin: Cause we are Laughing!_

_Coffin, yeah!_

_And no one's gonna save you_

_From the end of your short life!_

_You know we're Laughing! Coffin yeah!_

_Klein: I'll use my crystals and magic to_

_Heal and, fight and, survive!_

_Asuna: TIme for the next verse_

_Lisbeth: Flying 'round and slashing down the dudes_

_Kirito: I can't believe this_

_I gotta team up with some total noobs_

_Johnny Black: Go Skeletons!_

_Chop them down and dice them with your bone weapons_

_Silica: And all the while_

_I'll prepare my super special dragon friend_

_Asuna: Cause it's the end!_

_Laughing Coffin: Cause we are Laughing!_

_Coffin, yeah!_

_Asuna: There ain't no second chance_

_Now hand over your fleeting life!_

_Laughing Coffin: You know we're Laughing!_

_Coffin yeah!_

_Good guys: We're fighting for our friends cause we're_

_Asuna: Killer_

_Silica: Tamer_

_Klein: Charmer_

_Lisbeth: Crafter_

_Kirito: Swordsman!_

_All: We're out to get you!_

_There's players closing in on every side_

_They will destroy you_

_Nothing holding me back from this fight_

_Kirito: Now is the time!_

_Asuna: For you and I to have ourselves a duet_

_Kirito: All through the night!_

_Asuna: For once I'll keep from dying right now!_

_Both: I'll make you see!_

_It's time to win this!_

_Win the night!_

_Dark Repulser, Twilight_

_Dawn and Elucidator combined!_

_This is the Combo!_

_That will win!_

_It's only just a little more to _

_Kirito: Victor_

_Asuna: Victor_

_Good guys: VICTORY!_

The battle was fierce. Each side used magic, familiars, dual wielding, it was pretty meta. Kirito found that fighting was quite easy if you have a healer and someone who covers your weak points. Combos were used, the damage was dealt. And it was all in tune with the music.

Eventually, Pina killed Johnny Black's skeletons, Asuna killed Johnny, along with Lux, and knocking out Death Gun. Spiegel ran for his life.

"Coward!" exclaimed Kuradeel. He grit his teeth. "Fine, then. Go! Kyodaina!"

"Kyodaina?" wondered Kirito.

"It means colossal!" said Lisbeth.

Kuradeel threw out a Familiar Crystal. It shattered into an enormous bright light, bigger than Pina. It stretched, it's form becoming taller and lankier. The light shaped itself into a certain monster that inherited Kirito's nightmares. Specifically the one about Sachi.

"It's... It's... It's..."

The beast stared down with a blue rune in place of a face.

"A Granite Elemental!" exclaimed Asuna.

This was no ordinary creature. It was easily thirty-five feet tall, towering over all of the players. It was a Colossal Granite Elemental,

**I've decided to split this story into multiple fics, one for each act. I have three planned. The end of the first act is pretty close, in case the obvious upcoming boss isn't making it clear that we're close to a tone-shift.**


	10. Golden heart

"How is that possible?" said Klein. "The Colossal Granite Elemental is a boss-rank monster!"

Kuradeel smirked at him.

"Anything can be tamed if you apply enough pressure! Or in Kyodaina's case, water"

Kirito was staring at the beast, breathing heavily. Memories of his last encounter with the creature. He could almost still hear her voice...

"What's up with Kirito?" asked Lisbeth.

"Oh yeah," said Asuna. "This is the same type of monster that killed his girlfriend, Sachi,"

"Kirito has a girlfriend?"

Kirito grit his teeth. _No. She didn't die just so I could end up like her. It's time to let go._

With tears in his eyes. Kirito tightened his grip on his swords and leaped straight up to Kyodaina's face. It turned to face him in curiosity. Now was Kirito's chance to finally rid himself of the pain.

**Track playing: Coffee, Soda.**

"This is for you, Sachi! Starburst Stream!"

Elucidator and Dark Repulser glowed brightly, as he unleashed a fury of slashes upon the creature...

"Oh my gosh!" said Silica. "He's gonna take that thing down single-handedly!"

...harmlessly bouncing off of its stone face. Kirito kept up the pressure, but his attacks had no effect.

Eventually, his Skill ran out, and he fell straight to the ground.

Kuradeel cleared his throat.

"Well... that was probably a lot cooler in your imagination," he said, "But everyone knows that you can't take down a boss single-handedly! I mean, that's just poor game design,"

Kirito grunted as he got back up.

"Why didn't... it work?"

"Because swords are weak against rocks," said Lisbeth. "Anyway, I think it would help if we, I don't know, COME UP WITH A PLAN!"

Kyodaina raised its foot and was about to stomp Kirito into the ground. He was too exhausted to run away since Starburst Stream drained his energy.

"Kirito!" exclaimed Asuna. She dashed over and pulled him away before the enormous stone foot could turn him into a pancake.

"Asuna?" he managed to get out. He shook himself out of his trance, "You saved me?"

Asuna blushed.

"D-don't the wrong idea. I s-still wanna k-kill you. I j-just don't want to see you die... right now,"

"Aww, you care about him!" said Klein.

Asuna glared at him. While this was going on Kyodaina swung it's arm back, preparing a punch with the force of a locomotive.

"Run!" yelled Lisbeth. The group dashed to the side, narrowly avoiding the stone fist.

Kuradeel laughed at them.

"You'll never escape!"

Klein's face lit up.

"I have an idea!"

He whispered something into Lisbeth's ear, then Silica"

"Are you insane?" said Lisbeth.

"Well, can you do it?"

"I don't know..." Lisbeth glanced at the advancing Kyodaina. "Yes! I'll go do that!"

"Alright, everyone else here's what we do..."

While Klein was explaining his plan, Lisbeth and Silica got to work. Silica threw out Pina's familiar crystal.

"Go, Pina!"

The crystal broke, releasing the Feathered Dragon as a stream of light that shaped into the gargantuan, though not as big and Kyodaina, dragon.

"Pina, use Breath Attack!"

Pina obliged and shot an enormous beam of energy straight at Kyodaina. The giant wobbled and shuddered, dazed.

"Now!"

Lisbeth took off on her jetpack and flew at Kyodaina. It was still dizzy from the Breath Attack, so it didn't notice her when she flew right past it. She turned around and tossed her hook at its leg. It wrapped around, leaving Lisbeth connected to it. She turned her thrust to full, so she spun around the creature, the rope wrapping around its legs. Eventually, Kyodaina recovered from the attack and noticed the pink-haired girl flying around her.

"It's recovered!" exclaimed Silica. "Get away, Liz!"

Lisbeth didn't question and hastily let go of the hook. The speed she had accumulated from flying in circles sent her in Klein's direction.

"Hang on!" he said. Lisbeth tried to slow down, but she ended up smashing straight into Klein. Luckily, he managed to keep them both upright.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Lisbeth, who had just rammed straight into his chest, didn't seem to want to leave his grip.

"More importantly," she said. "Are you single?"

Kyodaina started to walk over to them, but Lisbeth's rope was still tied around its legs, so it fell straight to the ground.

"No!" exclaimed Kuradeel.

Klein's sword burned even more brightly, and he pressed it against the monsters face

"Alright, let's finish this!"

All five adventurers unleashed their weapons on Kyodaina's rune.

"Tsujikaze: Fire!"

"Shadow Claw!"

"Steam Blast!"

"Flashing Penetrator!"

"Starburst Stream!"

**Kirito, Asuna, Silica, Lisbeth, and Klein used Combo Attack: Starburst Penetrator Blast of the Steaming Fire Dragon!**

** Kyodaina took 999999 damage!**

** Kyodaina fainted!**

"No, Kyodaina!" exclaimed Kuradeel. The Granite Elemental shattered into a useless pile of boulders, as our heroes relished in their victory.

"You'll pay for this!" he yelled. Then he pulled out a crystal.

"Teleport, Home!"

_A little while later. _

"That was awesome!" said Lisbeth.

"I know!" said Asuna. "We fought a dragon, solved a murder-mystery, and defeated Laughing Coffin!"

"Speaking of which," said Klein. "What do we do now?"

"Huh?" said Kirito.

"I mean, Kirito and Asuna just went through major character development. I feel like we should adjust the status quo to fit the changes."

"What?" asked Asuna.

"Are you gonna go back to killing?"

Asuna laughed.

"Of course I am!"

Klein turned to Kirito.

"So... did you learn something about friendship?"

"I... I..." Kirito wistfully thought to himself. "I don't know..."

Suddenly, Kirito got a small yellow notification on his menu.

"Huh?"

He tapped it out of curiosity. It read, "Gift Box, from Sachi,"

"Sachi," he said.

Klein scratched his head.

"I guess she sent you a message in advance,"

"Well, let's see what it is!" said Asuna.

Kirito opened his Gift Box and pulled out a small recording crystal. _Sachi sent me a recording? Why would she do that? If I play this, then it'll be the last words I'll ever hear her say. Do I really want to..._

"Hurry up already!" Asuna said. She snatched away the crystal and activated it. Kirito was about to object, but he didn't. Mostly since Asuna got her knife back.

"Hello, Kirito." He gasped when he heard her voice emanating from the device. "If you're hearing this, it means one of two things. Either, I'm dead and you're hearing the last words I'll ever say, or we've lived a pleasant year together, and I just worked up the courage to tell you. The truth is, I never wanted to leave the Town of Beginnings. But thinking like that in combat is only going to get me killed. Ever since that night under the bridge, you've acted a little differently. I caught a glimpse of something, a much nicer version of you. I don't know why you hide it, but I know that if I die, you'll blame yourself. Please don't, if anyone's to blame it's me. And It's really not your fault if you fall in love with me,"

Kirito tried to hide his blush.

"That's why I decided to leave this recording behind. It's probably for the best, you should live much longer than me, and find someone worthy of that other Kirito I saw. One last thing. If I die, then I want you to find out more about Akihiko's beautiful world. That's my last wish. And also, if I'm alive, then I guess I won't say this at any other point..." Kirito could hear her pause. "I love you, Kirito,"

"WHAT?" exclaimed Asuna, Silica, and Lisbeth.

"I still have some time, I guess I'll sing you a song."

A/N: If you've heard the song "Ai No Uta" the melody is similar.

_Sachi's recording: I remember that night_

_ Sitting underneath the bridge and the moon_

_ The light reflecting off of your shining eyes_

_ Inside the virtual world_

_ I can see another you, with a heart of shining gold_

_ Why do you hide it underneath layers of ice-cold words and stubborn pride?_

_ Maybe we could go outside and play_

_ Just the two of us walking out quietly_

_ Aah, aah, underneath that sky_

_ Maybe we have fallen in love_

"Goodbye Kirito"

The crystal stopped glowing and fell to the ground. Everyone was in shock.

"Woah," said Klein. "That was... beautiful,"

Silica nodded.

"Are you crying, Kirito?" said Lisbeth.

Kirito was quietly sobbing to himself, but everyone could see the tears.

"I don't think I've ever seen him cry before," said Silica.

Silence.


	11. Change of Heart

"So, lemme get this straight," said Agil, "You guys fought Laughing Coffin..."

"Totally," said Lisbeth.

"...worked together with Asuna..."

"She was mostly there for her knife," said Silica.

"...killed a Colossal Granite Elemental..."

"Heck yeah!" said Lisbeth.

"...saved Yolko and Caynz, along with that other girl who's sleeping in the guest room..."

"Her name is Sinon," said Silica.

"...and now Kirito's having a mental breakdown cause he got a voice message from his dead girlfriend?"

"Sounds about right," said Klein.

"I hope he's okay," said Silica.

Everyone was sitting in Agil's shop, except for Kirito who was staring wistfully out the window on the top floor.

He sighed as he played the recording over and over again, hoping it would ease his constant reminder of how he could've been better to Sachi. _I should've just sucked up my gut and told her._

He stroked his chin, glancing at the girl they had retrieved from Kuradeel's backpack. As to how she got there, he had no idea. Kirito had to admit, she was pretty. With thin aqua-colored hair tied in small ribbons by the sides of her face, and the back cut short. She had smooth pale skin and a red and green outfit.

He sighed and wondered. _How did this happen? I was doing fine for the most part. What changed?_

_ Kirito: I was the one who had it all_

_ I was the master of the game_

_ I never needed anybody in my life_

_ I learned the truth too late_

_ I'll never shake away the pain_

_ I'll close my eyes, but it's still there_

_ I let them steal into my melancholy heart_

_ It's more than I can bear_

_ Now I know they'll never leave me_

_ Even after all I've said_

_ She will still torment me_

_ Sachi, _

_ Why me?_

_ Move me, come what may_

_ Living in a lonely tower_

_ No one's there to save the day_

_ But then they went and walked right in_

_ And now they're with me, everyday_

_ I raged against a life of love_

_ I cursed the friends who stood by me_

_ But they still kept with me, no matter what I said_

_ A change is what I need_

_ Now it's time to break the walls down_

_ Play the game with open doors_

_ She will still inspire me_

_ Be a part_

_ Of me forevermore_

_ I think it's time to leave my castle_

_ Be the man, I am inside_

_ I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in_

_ And as the long, long nights begin_

_ I'll think of all that I can do_

_ A whole new me, forevermore_

_ (Meanwhile, downstairs)_

"Uhh, did you hear something?" asked Silica,

The three of them were sitting at a table, enjoying drinks.

"I think Kirito was having a musical number," said Klein.

"That, I was, Klein,"

"Huh?"

Kirito entered the room. Though, he wasn't smug or sadistic. He was genuinely smiling.

"Kirito?" said Lisbeth.

"I thought you were depressed, or something," said Silica.

He chuckled.

"It's about time I told you my backstory. You know, I'd be lying if I said that I hated this world. The truth is, it's kind of a dream come true. I mean, in the real world, I'm just a sappy low-life who can't even stand up to his crazy sister,"

"Wait a minute," said Klein, "Is your sister actually related to you?"

"Uh, yeah? Why?"

"And you live together?"

"Yes,"

"Uh-oh," Klein rubbed the back of his head.

Kirito cleared his throat.

"But in SAO, I'm the Black Swordsman, someone who's strong enough to take down all of those awful people in my life. For a while, that was all that really mattered. Showing up to the people who I hate. Thing is, a good friend of mine once told that I need to give up this stubborn protagonist attitude and realize that I need to be better. And I think I finally understand what he meant by that,"

"Oh my gosh..." said Klein, "You actually listened to me!"

"But I know that the more we stay here, the greater the chance that-Klein, are you crying?"

"I'm... I'm not," Klein choked on a sob.

"Anyway, I don't know why, but you guys decided to stay with me, even after the way I treated you. And I really can't apologize enough for that. But if you still wanna hang out, the Black Swordsman could really use some..."

"Cannon fodder?" said Lisbeth.

"Friends," said Kirito. "You guys deserve to know the real me, as opposed to absolute jerk I've been acting like. And so did Sachi. Which is why I'm going to fulfill her wish, and escape this game. And I'm going to be the man that she deserved to love,"

"Woah," said Lisbeth.

"I honestly did not see that coming," said Silica.

"Finally!" said Klein. He gave Kirito a pat on the back, "Welcome to the club, buddy,"

"Thanks... buddy," said Kirito.

"Hey, Klein." said Agil, "Don't you find this turn of events a little sudden?"

"I don't think so," replied Klein, "After all, Act 1 is over now, so we can get away with just about anything,"

"Oh, that makes sense,"

"So, how should we end this?" asked Kirito.

"Well, we could fade to black while we go over everything we learned from this adventure." said Lisbeth.

"Or we could sing a song!" said Silica.

"Why not both?" said Klein.

Everyone nodded in agreement as the music began.

_Kirito: Subsequent to the events we have just lived through_

_I'm taking on a brand-new personality_

_No more pushing away other players_

_Klein: And it's time to end act 1, with a number_

_Lisbeth: There's more to Aincrad than just my blacksmith_

_Silica: I'm so glad that me and you were reunited_

_Kirito: If it's not too much to ask from all of you guys_

_We could create the ultimate guild_

_All: Each of us has a role to fulfill_

_We got fire and dragons and steam_

_And titles that show off our roles_

_Looks like there's only one thing to do_

_Which is to fight for what's true_

_Kirito: For glory,_

_Lisbeth: And gold,_

_Klein: And friendship,_

_Silica: And freedom!_

_Asuna: HEY KIRITO!_

Asuna's sword smashed right through the window, and she hopped in afterwards.

"Asuna!" exclaimed Kirito.

"Let's finish this," she replied

"Hey, you broke my window!" said Agil.

"Forget about that, RUN!" said Silica.

Asuna cackled as everyone ran off in various directions.

"Oh, you can't hide from me! Especially since i'm the focus of the next act!"

_Asuna: It's been a while and we've had some fun_

_Ten whole chapters, the first act is done!_

_That's the kind of thing that you'll find_

_In Sword Art Online_

_Kirito: We've fought monsters on thirty-nine floors_

_Klein: Kobolds, dragons, and Laughing coffin_

_Silica: That's the kind of thing that you'll find in_

_Lisbeth: Sword Art Online_

_All: Looks like, Act 1 is over_

_Asuna: Look out!_

_Here I come for you!_

_Kirito: Get ready we're gonna take a whirl_

_Klein: Gonna escape the virtual world!_

_Silica: If we fight it, we've still got a chance._

_All: That's the kind of thing that you'll find_

_The crazy things that you're gonna find_

_In Sword art online_

_Sword art online!_

Act 1, End.

**And that's a wrap! **

**I think I should tell you something about these fics.**

**Each act will focus on developing a single character. The first act is based around Kirito becoming more friendly, the second will be about Asuna, and the third...**

**Hey!**

**What?**

**When do I show up?**

**Probably never. I put your name in once.**

**Aw, but I thought I was a popular charecter!**

**In Hollow Fragment, maybe.**

**What about Philia?**

**She's not related to anyone. You are.**

**Well, what about Sinon? I though she doesn't show up until GGO?**

**I gotta build up the harem. The second act is mostly comedy.**

**Oh.**


End file.
